Friday, February 22, 2013

How Not To Hike!

How not to go on a hike!

1.  Start off being old-ish and overweight.

2.  Wait for the ground to be a muddy mess.

3.  Take 4 dogs that has been housebound for 3 days.

4.  Wear flip flops, a hideous tshirt and tight yoga pants, dirty hair and no makeup.

5.   Don't take your phone.

6.  Try to hurry because of the ominous rain clouds.

7.   Rush down a hill and step in slick mud ( please let it be slick mud and not dog poo) and go sliding like Nancy Kerrigan on ice.

8.  Grab a limb with your bad shoulder to stop your death fall.

9.  Fall anyway.

10.  Panic because you don't want the ambulance drivers to see you in a hideous tshirt, tight yoga pants, dirty hair and no makeup.

11. Beat nasty, muddy dogs off of you with your good arm.

12.  Slowly get up and thank God that nothing is hurt except your slightly throbbing shoulder, a dent in the ground and a poor smushed bug.....poor, little, flat, smushed bug.

13.  Hurry home, carefully, and pretend that none of this happened.

14. Vow to buy tennis shoes and get in shape and hire a personal trainer or forget that and just get a dog walker....:)




6 comments:

My Maine Blog said...

Hi Lisa...I love your stories and I'm so sorry you fell...but you made me laugh so much. I just hope you are okay with your shoulder. It is kind of scary being out there all alone, no help around and not even knowing if you'll make it back home okay. Every time I come to your blog and read about your little corner of the world I think ... "she definitely needs to change the title of her blog"...because from what I'm reading you do not have an ordinary life. Hope you never stop sharing because you make my day and always keep me smiling.

Jen @ Muddy Boot Dreams said...

I'm so sorry you fell also...but it's so funny. I mean in a "I'm really sorry you fell but it's funny kind of way."

Ouch.

Jen

Lisa Tucker said...

Maine...you always make my day...:)
Thank you so much....and your right...I thought it was ordinary but these things don't seem to happen to everyone...lol..thanks to God that I can look at my craziness in a funny way...and my poor family also...:)I hope you have a great weekend...:))))

Lisa Tucker said...

Hahahaha...Jen...I know what you mean...lol....I'm really o.k...must of hit my funny bone...;) I just got back from the hardware store and y'all just need to hear the rest of the story......

My Maine Blog said...

You're right...come on I need to hear the rest of the story...don't keep us in suspense...I just hope you didn't fall and hurt yourself again. So does what happens at the Hardware Store stay at the Hardware Store ??? : )

Lisa Tucker said...

Ok...remember..you asked for it...:)