Wednesday, March 4, 2015

Famous For Fowl

You could have knocked me over with a feather....
a chicken feather...of course...
when a writer for the Alabama Cooperative Farming News
contacted me and wanted to write a story on me!
It felt weird when the magazine came out and there I was...
my big, giant face looking back at me from shiny page #12.
I was holding Rod Stewart on the very first day I got him. (smile)
Mrs. Carolyn Drinkard did a wonderful job of making me sound ummm...
interesting instead of down right crazy...:)
The funny part was that my friends may or may not have been horrified
that I included their photo in their chicken outfits in the photos that she
requested of me to send to her.
(I made them autograph their photo for me..heehee)
I was equally shocked and amazed that I had a 5 page spread!!!
Mrs. Drinkard said that was a "first" for the magazine to do on anyone!
I credit her amazing writing skills..:)
It was super nice of Mrs. Drinkard to do this for me.
I was very flattered.
But it did feel strange see me and my life "out there".
 I know that by blogging we are already "out there" but it really just seems like it's a
very small, close community...the blogging world.
Or maybe it's because I think I have only 12 friends... which is my usual number of comments..:)
I didn't mention to hardly anyone that I was going to be in this magazine
because I really thought not many people I knew would even get this magazine
but I was wrong!!
My phone started ringing and I had friends and family all asking
"did you know you were in a magazine?"
My face book blew up for a while and it was really fun to hear all the comments.
But it still felt.........weird....exciting....but weird.
I can't imagine how REAL BIG DEAL people in BIG news feel.
So a big thanks to Mrs. Carolyn Drinkard and Alabama Cooperative Farming News
 for making this little chick get to preen and strut for a few days...:)
I was thrilled with the article but I'm not sure my "guys" are real happy that all
of ALABAMA now knows that their mom is the crazy chicken lady..heehee.


Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Little Debbie Got Me In Trouble

What happens when you go on vacation and have a fabulous time????
The next week will be terrible!!!
 Since I've stepped off the boat I've had an abscessed tooth with severe pain throughout my jaw.
So I go to the dentist who sends me to a specialist in Mobile.
I pray I don't get asked about my eating habits.....
Little Debbie would probably be a no-no and we don't even want
to begin to tell about the cruise food.
 He tells me you can have a root canal or it can be pulled.
  He asked Dental Insurance? I say no. I ask how much?
  He says $1500 versus one to two hundred.
  I take a mirror and inspect where this devil tooth is located,
 I almost asked for a Little Debbie to see if the pulled tooth would hinder my consumption ratio but I
didn't think the dentist would appreciate all the chocolaty goodness that would be in my teeth.
 So I said it seems the decision is clear....
pull that sucker!!
 He leaves and the assistant says "your dentist sends his patients to an oral surgeon here in Mobile
 so I will call and get you an appointment"
but the specialist comes in and asks the assistant "how much time do I have?"
  He looks at the schedule and says "I will pull it!" 
 Well I'm thinking "do you not normally pull teeth?
  Is this just something you've always wanted to do in your spare time????
 He deadens the entire left side of my face and then he leaves for 15 minutes....
I'm assuming he's in the back on his computer googling "how to pull a tooth"
 He comes back and he pulls and tugs and wiggles,
 I think at one point he had his foot on the arm of the chair and I'm wondering
 in my half dead face fog, if it's in there that good maybe we shouldn't be pulling it
 but finally it pops out and he inspects it for 10 minutes.....
what is he looking for????
  Did my tonsils come out with it???
 Is it a special devil tooth that needs to go to a museum??? 
 So now I'm home looking at this giant hole in my head.
  I bet all the men out there are wondering "does she have a twin?"
  Snaggle tooth, sweaty navel and hairy toes........sigh........Shannon is a lucky man....

Saturday, February 7, 2015

TMI....There is a limit to how much your husband wants to know

You would think that after being married for 30 years that you could tell
each other anything....
I mean, surely you have seen the best and worst of each other by now.
He has seen me with no makeup and with bed head. 
He has heard (and filmed) my snoring.
I can't hide my double chin or my love for Debbie Cakes from him (although I try).
He has come to terms that his wife is know as "the crazy chicken lady".
But as I am aging I keep noticing different things about me and my
body that wasn't there in the previous 30 years of marriage.
All of a sudden I'm really paying attention when they are advertising
how to remove skin tags.
And you may check my latest search on the computer and find
"how much does it cost to tack your bladder back up?"
And no one talks about mother has told me nothing other than
lose weight while you are young.
And I dropped the ball big time on that one.
So I know I've pushed him a little over the ledge lately.
I know he LOVES me dearly and I may be taking advantage of that
when I've let him catch me pluck that chin hair or the time he was
horrified to see me shaving MY mustache ( I know..I know...I wax...but sometimes
in an emergency).
And then there was the other day....
we were enjoying riding home from work together
and talking about anything and everything....
and I don't know why I MUST share every little detail with him...
but I said I would like to lose 60 pounds.
And he (sweet man that he is) said don't...
you look great just like you are.
And I say "well, my belly button would really like me to lose it."
And he looks at me with his brow furrowed and asked "what?....why?"
I say "did you know that when you gain a lot of weight in your belly
that your bellybutton closes in on itself.  It sweats something awful and
sometimes gets a rash?
He interrupts me and says "LISA.....NO!"
I guess there is a limit to how much you can reveal to your husband.
I sure hope the saying  "it's your personality that counts" is true.

Wednesday, February 4, 2015

You Know You Love Your Chickens When....

You know that you LOVE your chickens when...
on your day off of work...
You are the cold....
digging up worms for them!

Friday, January 30, 2015

It's Okay To Lie To Chickens But Not To Your Husband

So I leave work early....
I give Shannon all kinds of excuses why.
I need to cook supper, go to the bank, buy groceries and let the chickens in the coop.
 I did none of those things.
I went straight to Cato's to look around.
I am NOT suppose to buy another thing....
closet is overflowing, credit card is crashing blah blah blah.
 So I decide if I just slip in there ever so quietly, keep a low profile so no one will even see me
 and there will be no chance of Shannon finding out (that means no tattling you stick together evil men)
 Of course the store is full and as soon as I walked in I stealthily eased my way
 around the racks that are right up front in the windows....
no one can see me from the parking lot because they hang those giant poster ads
 that take up the whole window.
The next thing I hear is Craaaaassshhhh!!!!!!
 I'm not sure if it was my tiny body (eye roll) or my tiny purse (eye roll)
 that managed to pull the entire giant poster  crashing down all around me!!
 I freeze as every person in there stops in their tracks and stares at me.
 So much for being invisible.
 I apologize and apologize as I'm backing my way out the store ...
if I can just make it back to my car...
maybe no one even knew who I was...
as soon as I step outside a car goes by and someone yells HEY LISA TUCKER!! 

Saturday, January 24, 2015

Coopville Diaries! (sometimes you have to lie to chickens)

It's baaaaccck!!'s back.
It's time for................

Well I've put off telling anyone....... but the rooster, Conway Tweety, who was
given to me after I lost Rod Stewart, was killed by something
soon after I got him.

It makes me sad.....I still miss Rod Stewart terribly also...
And now.....I've put it off long enough.... I have to have "the talk" with the girls
about death and changes.
So here is how it went......

 Oh girls!!!!
Could y'all come here please?
I need to talk to you.
"Yes....are you calling us?"
I am....
I...umm......have to tell you something about Rod and Conway.
You know how they haven't been around lately? you know what happened to them?
"Of course we know.....they went to a man cave or a hunting camp for a
little while...right?  That's what men do...right?
And oh it's been so nice....we have had some relaxing days.
You know how irritating those males can be.
You tell her Lucy...I think I may take a nap right now..
sighhhhhh...." know how I always ask y'all to be very watchful
and very careful arou..
"I must bathe..(interrupted Kim) never know when the papparazi may show up.
"Gee whiz are so shallow" Khloe snipped.
"Khloe you are just jealous!"
Wait....girls.....I'm trying to tell you something important!

 I.........I hate to tell y'all this but Rod and Conway are.......
"what you talking about Willis?" Lucy croaked
(it's weird that a chicken would know that show Different Strokes..but she did)
"Are you telling us that we can DIE??????"
(the girls are freaking out)

 This is not going case you were wondering. (Baby Kitty informed me)
Thank you Baby Kitty...I realize that.
Kourtney please quit hiding and come back!!
"I am not hiding...this is not happening....I am meditating...ohmmmm"

"No......really.......where are they?" asked Millie
Sambo said "you are really messing this up."

Haha....girls....did I say dead?
ummm.......Noooo....that's not right!!
I mean they are dead......tired.....and they will be staying
at the hunting camp a while longer.
Y'all need to calm down.
"Not funny" glared Millie
You all can come out of hiding now...
It's all okay!  No one is going to die!
Go back to what you were doing before I brought all of this up.
One last look from Lucy......
and the kingdom is back to normal.....

Sometimes you just have to lie to chickens.......

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