Monday, November 14, 2016

Today is a good day

Let's just start right here......
it was a good day!
The hubby and I were headed out of town on a Friday morning!
Yes......we left our business in our son's and employee's hands.
I knew we wouldn't die and the business wouldn't was not so sure.

 We are headed to my very best friend's (since second grade) daughter's wedding.
In Asheville, North Carolina!
Which is an 8 1/2 hour drive for us.
Which is fine because I have plenty of subjects to talk to Shannon about...wink wink.
Chickens.........what we will eat.............when we will eat............will my chickens
know if I eat chicken??
I have laffy taffy jokes.......what do cats and Christmas have in common????
They both have sandy claws........................bahahahaha!!!
What time do you go to the dentist??????.......................tooth hurty!!!!
I know he is as excited as I am....:) :) :) :)

Right off the bat I had problems.........Shannon does not eat half as much as I do!


So when we got up and out the door at 5 a.m. he went through Hardee's

to get him a coke and he asked if I wanted something.

Decisions, decisions........

I wasn't starving but I knew it would be a looooong time before we stopped again so

I got a frisco breakfast sandwich and I told him we would half it......(it makes

me not seem so fat).

 I gobbled up my half and he said with a smirk "you can have my half" so I made a big

production of wrapping up his half (although I could have eaten it)..;)

Then about 3 hours later he pulls into a Waffle House.

He orders the big breakfast and I order grits and eggs and toast

and I KNOW he wants to say something so I ask


"and just so you know I have a waffle coming also"

and he says "you've got to be kidding???!!"

I told him I had been training all my life to eat this way and it was

his own fault if he couldn't keep up.

Then we were back on the road, me napping and dreaming of lunch....heehee.

I opened my eyes just long enough to see this sign and let out a big sigh of relief...:)

We drive a couple more hours

and then we saw the sign..................Campbell's covered bridge.....I screeched!!

We must stop!!! And I can't believe he did!

It was beautiful....

 We made it to our hotel and it was awesome!

I highly recommend it...we were right in town...walked everywhere.

It once was a department store so the rooms were huge and when we got out

of our elevator it would say "second's dept.".

 We saw many cool things.

Found this in the first jumped right on my finger..:)

I wanted my pic made by this ginormous fire place because it would make me look small
just saying....

And then there was this beautiful couple and their beautiful wedding.
Oh to be this young again..:)

and my precious (size 2) friend....

And before you knew it we were on our way home.
White knuckling our way through eight lanes of traffic in Atlanta with
airplanes almost landing on you,
 to arguing over one last place to eat.
Olive Garden with dessert first...;) I'm teaching him all the tricks.

I found a new app for my phone and started texting my chickens.
and everyone else that was on facebook...:)

And then we were home....feeling so blessed to have beautiful places to
visit and a home to welcome you back and dear friends all along the way.
So all that's left to say is............
goodnight and thank you for hanging in there with me on this very long post!

Thursday, October 13, 2016

Dear Complaint Dept.

Dear water hose makers,
Is there a reason that water hoses must be stored and sold all coiled up
like a cobra?
Did you realize that after months of sitting on shelves like this that trying
to wrangle it into any other shape, like straight, is impossible?
Did the water hose go through naval training to teach it how to tie its way
into impossible knots?
And when it finally comes out of the knot it does an acrobatic move
that Cirque du Soleil would be proud of and
soaks you completely.
And then you have to explain to your husband why he found you in the bathroom
blow drying your boob.
Maybe you should talk to Little Debbie......she has excellent
customer satisfaction. (or maybe that's just me)
Sincerely soaked and enjoying a Little Debbie snack,
Next letter will be to dog bed makers.
Stay tuned.

Tuesday, September 27, 2016

I'm Still Here...

I'm still here.
I seem to have no words.
Thank you for not giving up on me.
Really hope to be back soon...:)
Love and hugs to all!

Wednesday, August 24, 2016

A Trip to the Gyno

It's today.....I can not put it off any longer.
A trip to the gynecologist.
Uggg...shoot me now.
It's not just the gyno I hate going to....
it's ANY doctor.
To top it off it's a new doctor at a new place.
My old doctor retired (5 years ago...I know...I'm terrible).
So ladies I have to wake up extra early to "prep" to go to the gyno.
You know what I mean.
I have bathed, shaved, plucked, tarred and feathered..
you know the drill.
Just the other day I found a genius article about the uses of deodorant
for other than on your armpits!
They mentioned between your thighs (for chub rub),
your feet, under your boobs (big boobs + age + drooping + southern heat),
and yes it works!
But I'm wondering now as I lift a boob and slather deodorant,
if I get a mammogram won't it be embarrassing if they say,
" what is this white stuff on our image????  We see abnormalities,
look everyone in the whole hospital.....what is this on her mammogram image??
I quickly find a bath cloth and start rubbing it off.
But sweat starts smelling soooooo.......I put back on just an itty bit.
Sigh.......while I'm at it I may as well put some under the belly and in
the navel. (no one told me about fat problems so I'm telling y'all now)
Now that I'm sweat proof....what next?
You have to examine yourself from head to toe because
unfortunately that's where they look.
I look at my ankle...............great....that's just great.
I accidently stood in an ant bed yesterday and now my ankle looks like a
5 year olds.
Did you know that even your ankle can have fat pockets?
I'm thinking of conversations to have with the Dr. to try to distract her
from the horror she may be witnessing.
Of course I'm going to discuss weight loss solutions and let her know
that I know that I am overweight.
Maybe she has a miracle cure and won't suggest the stupid idea
of eating less and exercise.
Now.......hmmmm....what to wear???
Stretch pants for sure.....she doesn't need to see all the poor
circulation lines that my blue jeans make. (yes it's the blue jean makers fault)
A top with sleeves to cover the fat bulge oozing out of my bras...
yes bras..... it's plural!
When you get past G in the alphabet you have to have reenforcements.
I probably won't wear my fit bit although that would probably make her smile.
I wonder if I own a biscuit colored shirt...just in case I drop some on it?
Well I better go......
don't know who needs prayers most....
me or them...:)
Maybe there will be a part two to this story.......
Have a great day because I probably won'

Thursday, August 11, 2016

Meet the Peepers

It's been awhile .......
But it's time you got caught up on...............
A lot of changes this year....
Pretty much a whole new crew this year.
It seems the other chickens went on strike for more pay (worms) and
when we didn't meet their terms they all walked off the set
(or died and was eaten by a raccoon or something).
Yes, they will be missed but I have learned that is the
way with chickens.
I had them for 4 years and they were happy, free ranging chickens.
This episode I want to introduce you to the peepers.
None of my hens have ever had babies before!
They are the cutest!!
But I was a hot mess.  I flew to my computer and searched for how to
care for baby chicks.
Oh my!  You should separate them from the flock because the other
chickens will peck them to death.
They need to be in a clean environment and kept warm
and bedding changed every day.
Watch for pasty butt and scaly mites and make sure you worm them.
I am not ready for this!!
All I have ready is little tutus for them to wear!!
I decided to do the best I could and let their mommy take care of them..:)
My son and I found some wasp larvae and gave it to them and they loved it!!

They are just the cutest and mom takes great care of them.

Hahahahaha! Wake up!!  Just in case y'all were going to sleep on me!!
The sad thing is that I know these people....they come visit us at the camp
every hunting season.  I try not to stand too close to
Just saying....
Back to the peepers....
 Here is a cute video for you.

You can see why I call them little peepers...:)
Please ignore the high pitched shrill of a Southern redneck chicken mama...;)
I'm sorry I have been so absent from my blog.  I am hoping
to start blogging more often.
Thanks for hanging in there with me.


Monday, June 20, 2016

Father's Day Fiasco

I hope everyone enjoyed the Father's Day weekend!
My dad's church hosted a father/daughter banquet Saturday and my mom
told my sister and I that dad wanted us to go with him....
what can you say?
So I texted my sister (who lives a state away) and broke the news
to her.
We laughed about us probably being the oldest daughters there (and we were).
We get to the small church and they had decorated it so cute.
We have arrived!
Yes my sister and I are complete opposites...she looks like mom and I look like dad.
And you will soon hear that I act like him also.
It was a small group of about 20 people and we had a wonderful speaker that also
sang a few songs.
We were in a small room so the speaker was about 10 feet away from us.
I take my phone in to take photos and I put it on mute (I'm not rude ya know).
My dad was sitting across the table from my sister and I.
He picked up my phone from the table and I'm in a panic because dad and cell phones
are a disaster waiting to happen.
He looks at the time and whispers/not whispers ( I don't know where he learned to whisper)
"is today Friday?"
I'm mortified and I'm shaking my head and barely whisper back "'s Saturday."
Dad whispers/notwhispers.... "I think the car race is on!"
I thought we were about to have to get up and take him home but we stayed.
As he put my phone back on the table (in this very quiet room),
my phone says "I'm sorry, I could not understand what you were asking?"
My sister's eyes are screaming at me "DO SOMETHING!!!!"
What could I was done.
So we just tried to shrink down and not move for the rest of the night....but no.
This little girl was sitting next to us..........adorable!
And she was perfectly good and quiet until my dad started playing with her,
throwing napkins at her until she erupted in giggles and talking to him.
Her mom got on to her and I got on to dad.
Finally the speaker asked if he could pray before we ate and he asked if fathers and daughters could
hold hands.
Well my family loves each other dearly but we have never done much holding hands etc
so I though it would be nice to capture this rare photo.
While my head was bowed I did lift up my camera and tried to guess what angle
to hold it and I quickly held the volume button on the side ( I just learned that this will snap
a photo on the IPhone) because I didn't want to be rude during the prayer.
(barely got my hands in dad's)
But of course something had to go wrong..........
my camera went noisily .....clickclickclickclickclickclickclickclick
640 pictures!!!!!!!!!!
WHYYYYYY??????? poor sister is kicking me under the table!
I promise y'all I do not intentionally do these things.
We eat and win some door dad won the visor that is in every photo...
my mom is going to kill If you look at my first photo dad is also
suppose to be wearing a
It was a great banquet and I apologized to the host and speaker for our noise.
Everyone left and of course this Walker crew couldn't do that normally!
Somebody locked the keys in the truck!!!!
Don't y'all want us to come to all of your functions?
shaking my head..........typical.
The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
Or better
And that concludes our Father's Day fiasco.