Tuesday, May 19, 2015

The Crazy Chicken Lady Goes On A Cruise - Part Two

Well here we are in Progreso, Mexico!


Progreso is a port city in the Mexican state of Yucatán, located on the Gulf of Mexico in the north-west of the state some 30 minutes north of state capital Mérida by highway. As of the Mexican census of 2010, Progreso had an official population of 37,369 inhabitants, the sixth largest community in the state in population.
It's only four of us on this trip.  We all went different ways today.
Some stayed on the ship and others just went to a beach.
But we decided to go to this place!


Mayan & Spanish Settlement

Dzibilchaltun Ruins are located near the colonial city of Merida, Yucatan. Dzibilchaltun was a large settlement and still occupied when the Spanish arrived during the 1500s. Archaeologists estimate there were as many as 200,000 inhabitants and 8,400 buildings during its history with artifacts dating back to the middle of the classic period (700 – 800 A.D.)  Highlights are the large plaza, sacbe trails, the Temple of the Dolls, and the Open Chapel, an unusual amphitheater shaped structure
(I could not for the life of me get this to center)



But first we must get there!!!
We leave the ship and board a bus with our tour guide, Jose!

We were so excited and lucky because Jose said we were the

first bus to leave and we would be the first to get there

and it would not be so crowded.

yay!!!  We all cheered!!

But little did my bus mates know that they had let a

little lady on the bus named Lisa.

And very soon our bus started spitting and sputtering...

and before you could say "the Lisa factor"

we were sitting on the side of the road watching

allllll  of the other tour buses passing us by.

Why did I sit so close to the engine?

Jose then jumps off of the bus and hails another bus and away he went!


What do we do now?

It wasn't long however before Jose was back and they tinkered

with the bus and we were back on the road.


What I really loved about Progreso was it was not some tourist attraction.

Jose kept telling us it was the "real" Mexico.

We just saw real towns, and houses and people going about

their work.

 I thought it was great!  Although I never saw a chicken?

We finally made it to the Mayan ruins and I will tell you

it was hot, people!!

And we went in February!!

I don't think you could stand to listen (although it was interesting but a little too long) to the history of this place during
the hotter months.

It was really neat and I'm glad we went but the best part

was this natural grotto or cenote is what they called it.

Cenote Xlakah is a beautiful freshwater pool located to the side of the main plaza. It was the city’s freshwater source and perhaps the main reason the Maya chose this location to build their settlement. Water from Cenote Xlakah would have been perfect for residential drinking water and irrigation of their fields. Under the surface, Cenote Xlakah reaches depths of 44 meters (144 feet). According to the plaque near the water’s edge, Xlakah means “old town” in Maya. The cenote was first explored from 1957-59 when thousands of pottery shards and urns were found in the water along with wood, stone and bone artifacts. The earthenware dates to the Late Classic Periods of 600-1000 A.D -

We loved it and the little fish would give you a pedicure.

We walked back to the entrance of the ruins and they have this outdoor eating area.

I don't know if we were just hungry but it was the best, authentic

Mexican food that we had the entire trip!!

After we ate Jose loaded us all up and took us to a beach!

It was pretty touristy...is that a word?
I mean that there were a lot of people there and so many
trying to sell you something.
What???  Did you say homemade marange bites?
How fast can we get our money out?
And then we spotted it!!
We spotted on the beach, a tent set up with 4 massage tables
calling our names.
We couldn't get there fast enough.
In my frenzy to get on a table I completely forgot that I was
not wearing a bathing suit under my clothes like my friends were.
(If any men read my blog this would be a good place to stop reading....too much female information coming up.)
Not only was I lying beside the girl in the pink.....scroll back up
one photo.....yep....her.....
I had on capris and a regular top.
I just assumed the massage girl would just do the best she could
outside of my clothes.....but ohhhhhh I was wrong.
These girls are good and quick and you can tell they've done this
hundreds if not thousands of times.
I'm lying with my face mushed down on the (face holder??)
looking at the sand and she starts pulling my shirt up and I'm
thinking well I guess that's okay.
And then she moves my arm and lifts my head and pop!! my shirt is off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am horrified!! 
And then I realize that not only am I lying there in my bra
but I am lying there with 2 bras on!!!!!!!
The horror!!!!
(sometimes I wear two for extra support....I know that's just weird but it really works....don't judge!!  if you don't have the "big" girl problem then you have no idea the things you will do for support!)
I can't lift up from the table because then I will be totally exposed to everyone outside the tent...the tent is not closed!!
I am dying!!  Trisha (the beauty in pink) is dying also...
because she has heard me panic and say I have two bras on and
she can see what is happening from her table and she was
laughing so hard!
And then I could feel the massage girl....unhook, unhook, unhook,
unhook, unhook, unhook,
Oh dear....
and she was speaking  to the other massage girls    
"mahkd,m dllsejm., shelsk, lkdi , 2bras, hhahahaha"
I die...
"The Lisa Factor" strikes again...
So much for "relaxing" during my massage.
We finally get done and the massage girl is like
hook, hook, hook,  sigh.....hook, hook, hook
back on the clothes go.

And back to the ship we go!! (look, Trisha is still laughing)
Other than the massage debacle I really loved this day!!
We now are back on the ship and the ship starts heading home and we are getting
more delirious by the minute.
I love this photo...:)
(don't worry they will charge it to your visa)
Isn't that a beautiful group?!!

Each night we would come up the stairs and everyone that was a

little early would have to stand around in the elevator lobby area

and wait on the dining room to open their doors.

We met a lot of very nice people as we all stood around and talked.

One night we are talking to a group and for some reason I don't

do well with crowds, and talking, and I think I get nervous

and just say anything....my words are like vomit....I just

throw them at you.  Do you hear a warning coming up?

This man was saying something about his wife getting ready

and he was talking about how nice everyone looked and

before you could say "The Lisa Factor" I am blurting out

"these are pajama pants......and I think I've worn them the whole trip."

Of course no one knew what to say....they just stared.

Why did I say that???? 

They were black capris, yes they were black capri pajama

pants but no one knew that.....................until I told them..


I think we were all ready to head home to some normal sized servings... although this chicken bite and potato bite were good.

I had to go straight to the pizza bar right after dinner...and maybe the ice cream bar.

It was time to head home....

we've had a great time!
The wind made for a rough ride home.
One night we were already in bed when we heard a commotion
out in the hall. 
We went out and people were talking about
the ice cream machine had fallen over because of the rough seas.
Boy I couldn't get my clothes on fast enough....I needed to
check on the ice cream machine!!
The last day we tried one last time to win this money....
we didn't win...but some lucky people did.
One last sunset....
one last look around the ship...
We are close enough to home that we have internet...
Here's a photo for my face book friends...
And just like that.....we are home....well, New Orleans.
What an excellent, marvelous, wonderful time we had
and I love each and every one of these special ladies
that made it so fun for me!!
A trip of a lifetime with life long friends and
memories we will never forget!!
(thank you readers for hanging in there....I know this was a long post)

Saturday, May 9, 2015

Crazy Chicken Lady Goes On A Cruise!


Well let's start a few days before leaving....you know you got to get them thar feet fixed.
Cue giant cheese grater.....uggg.
It was the best I could do,
 I tried to lose 60 pounds in 3 days
but Little Debbie totally vetoed that!
And away we gooooo!!!!
Did I tell you that I was invited to go with this beautiful bunch of ladies?
My first and only cruise before this was a disaster.
We didn't get to do any excursions due to weather, I was a senior chaperone and
I was so claustrophobic in our little tiny room in the bowel of the ship
that I slept on the top deck in a pool chair!
Needless to say I turned down every cruise I was ever invited on.
But these ladies persisted and I knew if I couldn't have a good time with them then
I was hopeless.
Bon Voyage New Orleans!
Okay...let's get down to business...
the FOOD!!!
I was very impressed and excited about ice cream any time I wanted...:) and pizza!
But I really need to talk to them about portion size.....do you see that itty bitty
bowl that's empty.....well it had mac and cheese in it and I had to order another one...
I was like..."I need another shot of mac and cheese please"........yes...
yes I did.
And by the end of the cruise the waiters would just automatically bring me the
warm chocolate melting cake (whether it was on the menu or not).
It may have had something to do with my own melt down when I didn't see it on the menu..:)
And while I'm talking about our waiters......they were so much fun!!!

My group of ladies are mostly from Louisiana and you know these ladies know how to party.
They brought different "accessories" for each night at dinner.
This night they brought us all glow necklaces and they gave the waiters these sunglasses...:)
Needless to say we were the loudest table in the dining room.
They even surprised me with a chicken (it may really be a duck) but it brought many giggles.
We were rock'n but not just because we are THAT cool but because the entire trip
this boat was rocking and rolling....................a...........................lot!!!
Dinner nights people were dropping like flies....headed back to their rooms....unable to eat.
I warned my friends....I really did......you see no matter what I do or where I go there is always the
"Lisa factor".
You guys know this if you read my blog.
Like this for example...
or this
So the rest of the trip whenever we ran into "snags" they just chalked it up to the
"Lisa factor".
Eh....I'm used to it....:)
My beautiful group at dinner.
I tried to get many shots of our cruise sunrises and sunsets.
So maybe I slept in a little late this morning...:)
Ahhhhh....so much beauty.
Another night dining....check out our scarves...our LA friends once again.
Why didn't I think to bring them something?
Hmmmm...but what?  A chicken feather?
Waaaa....my stuff is just not cool...:(
Did I tell you that they have this really cool channel in your room that you can see how far you have
been and all sorts of other information?
It was a little reassuring to me....I don't know why.......like I thought I would know which
direction to swim or something if we sank...haha.
One day I almost bought some kid's arm floaties just to keep in my purse.....shhhh...
don't tell the others.......I was not going to share.....;)
Okay....enough of that....back to the trip.
First stop is Cozumel!!
Let me tell you...these cruise lines have everything figured out!
They herd you out like cattle....before you can even think..one person jostles you in front of the
Cozumel sign and there is a photographer
saying" luke theese way...say sheeeeese!"
Of course these photos are all available for sale when you get back on the ship
This is part of the reason that the week AFTER you are home from your trip you have
to time your life perfectly in order to beat your husband to the mailbox...
you know you do that walk/run thing to get the mail before him....and he asks "what's your hurry?" and you
are like "haha....I don't know what you mean?...oh...my jogging.....just trying to
get in shape for you honey!!"
And that's when you realize that your "free trip" that you paid for in advance has cost you $700.00
The visa simply states......excursions, drinks, photos, spa, shirts, chicken toy, jade dolphin, blah blah blah.
It's like that show "Deal or No Deal".  Where the employee at Hot Dog Hut who was going to make
$30.00 that day at work suddenly turns down $175,000 because they are caught up in the frenzy of
the game. Blam!!  NO DEAL!
That was me!!
Sure I NEED a jade dolphin....pshhh....I have to have a jade dolphin.....
What...the spa costs $295?.....well I AM on vacation.....book me!!
Who could possibly turn down a chicken toy from Mexico?????  Not meeeee!!
hahahaha....don't you love my friend's bathing suit cover up...:)
We are off the ship and headed to this place!
Which was a wonderful excursion that we all highly recommend!!
 We got to kiss them and pet them and swim with them.
You could tell that the dolphins were very loved and very well taken care of.
There were all these different pools that were right next to the Caribbean Sea.
We all loved it!!
I think the dolphin loved us too...:)
He was whispering  "you've got chicken breath."
After this we just walked around the area and saw some of the sights.
There were always great photo opportunities.
I walked back to the ship before the others in order to book a wonderful spa massage...ahhhhh.
Talk about 60 minutes in heaven. 
(I'm not even going to talk about how much it cost)
(We will worry about that later...note to self.....take up jogging)
And then we met in our dining room for dinner.
Formal night.
This is my friend who got all of us together for the cruise and her beautiful daughters and daughter in law.
Aren't they gorgeous?!!!
They were not allowed near me in the pool or any bathing suit function...:)
and F.Y.I....they all have children....wow.

And have you ever heard of "here's your sign?"
well I found mine

And this may be a good stopping point for this post.
Stay tuned for part two of the cruise.
We are going to Progresso!!!