Saturday, December 28, 2013

I'm Allergic To Class Reunions




FACEBOOK POST #1
So...who's bright idea was it to have a class reunion days after the Christmas holidays? I have pasty white skin, fudge filled out cheeks (and not just on the face) all of my pants are too tight, and it will take all the reindeer to get me out of this recliner......hmmm...what to wear.....should I just put on the Santa suit and complete the look?....#needtomovetothenorthpole

FACEBOOK POST #2
I mean I need a Christmas miracle......this fat fifty year old wants an outfit to make her look like a firm 18 year old.....where's the Sisterhood of Traveling Pants when you need one?

Hunter Andrews's photo.


FACEBOOK POST #3
Ok...I'm sure there is something in this closet.....dig...dig....dig....yes!...no...too tight......dig..dig..dig....what about.......no....looks like I'm trying too hard......dig...dig....dig....I like this.....no.....looks like my pajamas......dig...dig...dig....I think I'm coming down with something......cough....cough.....am I running a fever?


FACEBOOK POST #4
Cough, cough......wheeeeeze.....sniffffff........I...cough...may be....cough....too sick.....achoo......to make the class reunion....snifffffffff......what's that.......ohhhhhhh.....we're eating....and there will be dessert......I'm feeling much better..........just let me put on my stretchy pants!...

Friday, December 27, 2013

Twilight Zone - Christmas "Tradition"



I don't really know how to start this post......

imagine the music to Twilight Zone....

Behind these walls of this ordinary home....

nee-na-nee-na-nee-na-nee-na-nee-na-nee-na (the music)

as a normal family gets ready for Christmas

things just get weird.....

I don't know why....

and I've heard other people say it too...

or do I say that every year?

My emotions have been all over the map.....

singing carols and dancing and happy as can be....

and then crying, complaining and miserable.

Why?

I don't have the slightest clue.

And then comes the really funny part.....

my three guys trying to figure it out.

Example:

For years and years I have been trying to get hubby to do a family "tradition."

I don't care what it is...just something that is meaningful for our family.

I have tried a yearly car ride looking at lights, a domino game and chili, instead of

gifts a "yearly" trip with just the 4 of us...etc..etc..

And nothing seems to stick. (because he & the boys can't or don't want to etc.)

And EVERY year I get melancholy about it.

And EVERY year they don't have a clue.

So on Christmas Eve eve I hear my hubby on the phone.

The boys were not home....it was just hubby and I.

Me: Who was that? Are you going somewhere?

Hubby:  Yes...that was Brian.  We are going to the river and build a bonfire

with Todd and Jerry.  You know.......like we do every year...

it's a tradition.

(now I know all of you women out there just gasped out loud)

Me:  (imagine a fire breathing dragon) YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT YOU

CAN HAVE TRADITIONS WITH YOUR FRIENDS.....BUT ....NOT..

YOUR FAMILY!!!!!!!

Hubby: (looking totally shocked) Well...I ...ummm...

Me: (crying now) AllIwantedwasustodoafamilytraditionandwecan'tevendothat...

(sniff) youcaremoreaboutyourfriendsthanyoudous

(sniff...sniff)

Hubby: I....ummmm.....

Me: (dragon again) WELL..THAT'S FINE!!! YOU DO WHATEVER YOU WANT!!

(I'm putting on my jacket)

Hubby: Wait.....where are you going....I didn't know....

Me: I'M GOING TO LOOK AT CHRISTMAS LIGHTS...

ALL.....BY......MYSELF!!

(slams door)

Hours later I came home.....needless to say hubby did not go with his friends...

but that didn't matter......I was still mad.

The next day I was a little better and some time during the day the hubby

must have told the boys about it and to be on their best behavior.

They were like "do you want to take a family picture mom?"

And they NEVER want to do that.

(don't we look sweet.....HA!)

I decided that I wanted to be in church (and needed to be..lol)

on Christmas Eve and maybe would start a new tradition for our family.

Our church doesn't have a service but I found out about another local church

and decided to go at 6 on Christmas Eve.

Wouldn't that be a great new "tradition" for our family?!

I told the guys.....

this was met with "you know we go hunting every year"

"it's our (gulp) tradition."


Me:  I'm leaving at 6 if anyone wants to go with me.(pouting)

I get dressed and around 6 I go to church.........alone.

Thank goodness the services were so touching that for that hour

I forgot about being mad.

And you should have seen the feast awaiting me when I walked in the door.

The guys were cooking up a storm.....lol.


I was waited on hand and foot.

Niceness was dripping off of all of them.

So we enjoyed our evening and we open presents on Christmas Day.

That went great and then we go to hubby's mom's house...which is a tradition...

that I didn't mind at all.

And that evening we are watching football, of course,

(this is the life of living with all men)

and hubby gets a phone call.

Hubby:  That was Todd (his friend)....

I told him we would come over in a little while...

you know....

like we always do...

(you should have seen the look on my boys faces)

(they were looking back and forth....like....uh oh)

Me:  I'm not going. (yes....I was petty at this point)

Hubby:  But that's something we always do together as a couple.

Me:  Because it's what YOU want to do!!

Do you know how hard it was for me to go to church all by myself?!!!

Hubby: FINE!

Me: FINE!

Boys: MERRY CHRISTMAS!


Do you ever have holidays like this?

I don't know what was wrong with me?

I let the devil in and he took over our Christmas!

This is what happens when you take your eyes and your thoughts off of

Jesus.

And boy did I need Jesus!

The next day I was over all of it.

I mean like......

I was thinking....

Why was I so out of sorts?

Thank goodness we had one more day before hubby had to

go back to work.

We got along fine.....even if the guys did give me side glances a lot.

I'm sure they were on edge waiting on the next eruption.

My friend from out of town came over that night

and my husband and boys sat around and talked

with us and it was great.

After she left hubby was putting on his jacket.

Me: Where are you going?

Hubby:  I'm suppose to help someone get their truck out of a ditch

but I didn't want to leave because

your friend comes every year.....you know.....

a tradition....

(cue music)

nee-na-nee-na-nee-na-nee-na

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Disclaimer

My hubby and boys are wonderful!! Most of the time they cannot do enough for me....I don't

want anyone to think they aren't the absolute best......and no....they are not standing over me making me

write this....lol.  I just wanted to be real and I thought it was funny how the male/female

versions of Christmas go......:)





Monday, December 23, 2013

Don't Tell My Mom


Yeah....I did.

DON'T LOOK ETHEL!!

It's too late.....

She's done gone to Walmart wearing them clothes!!

I ran into all kinds of folks that I know...

did I think that I would see no one?!!

And then as I'm strolling through there like Miss America

I put this in the cart for meeeee!


I don't think Santa or any of my guys are going to buy this for me

so a girls got to do what a girls got to do!

I'm afraid I saw people taking pics of me on their phones and

I feel like I may wind up on that site "what crazy people wear to Walmart."

Oh well.....

it's all good....

unless my Mom finds out....:(

Christmas Gathering - Take One


Yes.......it happened....

I finally got full....

don't want to see anymore food...

miracles can happen...:)


We partied hard...

we opened a lot of presents....


We played dirty Santa....

we put bags over our heads....

just to make little girls laugh....


We ALL held the baby.....

we took family photos.....






and everyone hated me because I was the one saying

"let's take another photo"

because you see what happens when I'm not in control

and not taking the picture myself.


My brother thought this was soooooo funny....

I'm telling them to kneel at my feet...hahaha....

well not at my feet....but beside me and for some reason

this was met with resistance.....

I managed to get this group together but I'm having trouble with my three.....


But after Mama says

"because I said so!"

We finally got it!

(even though my brother could have said...."wait...there are stocking coming out of your heads)

but this will just have to do.

Merry Christmas everyone!!


Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Merry.............



I want to capture this moment
and hold it in my heart
shut out any bad news
and cut out any sad parts

I would cook hot vanilla pudding
and put it in 4 cups
and make them homemade soup
and give leftovers to the pups

We would laugh about funny times
and pick each other apart
I want to capture this moment
and hold it in my heart

I wonder if they know
I sit here happy as can be
Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas to me!

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Oh Christmas Tree Cakes.....


OH  CHRISTMAS  TREE CAKES

OH CHRISTMAS  TREE  CAKES

YOUR BOXES RED

DELIGHT US!


The cave woman genes are kicking in this morning....

I'm storing up for the winter.

And speaking of eating....

do you have a certain way that you eat something?

Like pop tarts for instance...

First of all these are the only two kinds that I like...


Isn't it nice to look at blurry pics first thing in the morning?

I could go take another one....

but we all know that I am lazy...:)

Now.....when I toast my pop tart....okay....let's be honest....it's pop tartS

because how can you open the package and only eat one....

the other one will get stale......DUH!

Any way you must time the toasting just right....

You have to toast it just warm enough that the filling melts inside

but don't over toast where the sides are crunchy.

I over toasted this morning...

totally messes up my day....

My husband would say something snarky like

"Wow.....the pressure you must be under to get your pop tarts

right while I'm at work all day."

But you can always get men back.....

All you have to say is...

"it affects you too my dear..............."

;)


So I hope you all have a perfectly toasted pop tart day!!!

:) :) :) :)

Monday, December 16, 2013

Let's Get REAL....

Good morning!

As I am sitting here drooling over all the beautiful blogs

showing their Christmas decor I am envious.....

I know I shouldn't be...

but I am.

Even if I had a million dollars

which I don't...

I couldn't create such loveliness.

Some people just have that touch 

and some don't.

So I'm going to show y'all what I'm talking about.

Let's get REAL....:)

This is a basket of Christmas ornaments....

this one is not bad....

they are plastic.....

what would the great decorators do with it?

I don't know......and that is the problem....:)


I found this cute little thingie and thought I could put it on a friends gift.....

except.........it has 2011 on it!!

What?  We were friends in 2011 but not in 2013?

Hey.....it says friends "forever".....:)))

I do this all the time....buy something....lose it.....forget to give it...

Okay.....this one is subtle....

can you find the problem?

Wow that might open up a can of worms.....

can you find the problem besides orange curtains,

Alabama decor, a curtain valance used as a table runner....

I could go on and on but do you see the jersey hanging on the wall?

It's hanging on top of a giant shadow box....

I know, I know.....it should be inside of it and not hanging on top of it...

told you I was hopeless....

but anyway.....look right below the jersey....

yep.....my reflection wearing my dirty, nappy robe.

Ahhhh......this room has promise....

Isn't that pretty?

REALLY...

 A good case of cropping.....

This lovely room has an exercise machine and the Christmas tree box!


Now you might think this is a lovely photo with the sun shining through

the morning mist....

Nah....

there is no mist...

just dirty windows....

for REAL....

Now this isn't bad

for me....

except of course there is at least one plastic store bag....

but the REAL truth is...

that light hanging above the mirror...

well I plugged it in last night and sparks went everywhere

the socket turned black

and now I'm scared to plug it back in for fear of burning the house down..

isn't that nice?

This photo is to show you my change jar.....

which once had some dollar bills in it but I have robbed them all!

Hold up......

I think I missed one!

And if we are going to be REAL....

I will probably have to take the change to one of those machines

just to finish my shopping.


So.....

I'm not the decorator type.....

and I'm pinching pennies.....

and speaking of pinching.....

my pants are too tight......

but let's get REAL....

I'm going to the kitchen and eating at least 2 brownies that I made last night...

You may step in chicken poop as you make your way to my front door....

My men grumble and complain if I try to watch Hallmark Christmas movies...

I bought my nieces presents early this year....yea!...

and now I can't find them anywhere....boo!

I tried to hang the old fashioned lights on the porch 

and had them all the way around it when one slipped off the edge

and brought the rest of them down like dominoes...

and most of them broke....

and speaking of broke....

yep....

But thank you God

that none of these things that I have mentioned REALLY matter..

that we have something greater that

is the REAL meaning of Christmas!


The birth of my Lord Jesus Christ has given me the best present of all!

I really hope that all of you have accepted this gift....

it's

the

REAL

deal.

Saturday, December 14, 2013

Ornaments and Greenery Oh My!


HO HO HO!!!

Are you all decorated and ready for Christmas?

I'm aaaaaaaaalmost there.

I wanted to show y'all a new set of "adorenaments" that I bought this year.

Yes....I said adorenaments.

They were designed by Barbara Rainey and the one I am showing is a set of 

Christmas hymns.


What's cool is that on the back it tells who wrote it and the story behind it.

I copied this right off of their site......I also ordered His Royal Names and His Christmas Names.

 I really want my tree to reflect the true meaning of Christmas.

I haven't put them on the tree yet because I haven't decided whether to give them as a gift to someone yet...

I really want them for myself......

How's that for the spirit of Christmas....:)

I LOVE these adorenaments!!!

They are beautiful!

Next year I want at least one tree to have only Christ related ornaments.

I ordered from here..

I promise I am not getting paid to promote them...I just love them

and thought you all might like them too.


Here's some more Christmas doings....

why do I take pictures at night?

So unprofessional!

And you should be so proud of me.....see the little wreath hanging

from the curtain rod?

I went outside and cut some greenery from a shrub in my yard and 

BAM!

made two wreaths.....:)

And then....I caught the shrub/greenery bug and stuffed some in a chicken feeder

and added some candles....easy peasy!

And I added a wreath above the bed.....

I really should have straightened the pillows.....

so unprofessional!

So what have you been up to?
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Sunday, December 8, 2013

Christmas Poundage


Six down and six to go.................just today.................

I may or may not be kidding.............

I'm not.....:(

And Baby Kitty has a great idea for what I do next....


Ho Ho Ho!

Like a bowl full of jelly belly..

Saturday, December 7, 2013

Random

I'm going ice skating with some little ones today!!

Still representing my favorite team...Roll Tide!

Sambo, the cat, watching over the coop.

The coop last night.

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Christmas Doings

What?!!

I'm sorry!!!!!

It's been a while since I've been here.

I'm trying to do my Christmas decorating.....

okay....I'm mostly touring all of the Christmas homes on the blogs...

are you kidding me?!!!

Have you seen these?!!!

The mantels, the garland, the TREES!!!

I dragged out all of my crap, junk, stuff and 

I would just happen to walk by my computer and before you know it

I'm oohing and aahing and crying about my crap,junk,  stuff.

I HAD to buy a new tree...

we   I   remodeled,  bought some new furniture and now there is no room for a tree.

I must have a skinny tree!

A cheap, skinny tree!

So I go get one. (what else was I suppose to do?)

I forgot to get rid of the evidence, take the tree box off of the front porch

and dear hubby came home from work and asked  

"are you smoking the credit card?" 
(meaning is it on fire from all the purchases)

And I said

"no"
 (with a slight tremble to my voice).

And now I'm hiding in the laundry room cutting the price tags off of other

critically needed Christmas decor.

WHAT?!!
(hubby is calling from the living room)

WHY CAN'T I HAVE  A CUTE (flammable) POM POM GARLAND HANGING IN 

FRONT OF THE FIREPLACE?!!!!

But honey......the bloggers...

What's that?

If you hear the word blog again you are taking my credit card?

Gotta go girls....

(whispering) I'll see you tomorrow when I check out your........ummm..... computer sites....wink wink

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