Friday, May 17, 2013

It's Not My Fault That I Am Fat!

It's not my fault that I'm fat....

Let me explain..

My dear sweet husband, seller of all kinds of beautiful lawnmowers and lawn equipment, has "rigged" me up 

a push mower that doesn't have the automatic pull thingie that makes it easy to push.

It is very, very hard to push this mower..like in the "good ole days" hard.

This is used to cut the dog yard

and this.....
My beloved peach trees and black berry bushes...

but.....do you see that dirt hill behind them?

Well weeds grow on that hill and I will not attempt to cut that hill with the riding mower...

So, out comes the pile of junk   push mower.

Do you see that shiny stuff on my unmake upped? face...it is sweat people.

(I blame you Holly for this photo of me..ugg)

Plus I'm thinking no local people read my blog and you poor friends in blogland will never see me in person and you can't go tell my Mom how bad I looked in "public." 

And if you did happen to run into me you wouldn't recognize me because I may have combed my hair and put on make up.

I apologize.

Now, back to the story.

I tried to push the hill but after several attempts when the 50 lb lawnmower careened down the hill dragging me with it straight toward my black berry bushes, I quit.

So, why, you say, did I say it was not my fault that I am fat?

Well, I was thinking, if the smart people of this world had not invented riding lawnmowers, or cars, or all this other stuff that makes life easy then we would ALL be skinny.

But were they really smart?

Because we  they made that stuff to make life easier and do things quicker so we would have time to.... work out?

Or....

for some us....

to NOT work out.

And THAT is why it is not my fault that I am fat!

I blame smart people....:)

3 comments:

Holly said...

Sweaty and beautiful! Blame me all you want too. You are not fat, and I'm not about to go into how beautiful you are because then you'll have a big head and we won't be friends. I'm sure there is a perfectly logical way to mow that hill, I just don't know what it is. I say, plant something up near the top of the hill that spreads all viney-like and let it trail itself down the hill.

Lisa Tucker said...

I like the idea of the vines but what do you know you are obviously crazy if you think I'm beautiful and not fat...lol Now...hmmm....what kind of vine...that won't take over my fruit trees at the bottom of the hill?

Leave It To Davis said...

lol....you should be a comedian. Seriously. I am laughing at this so hard, I'm crying.