Saturday, August 10, 2013

Lipstick On A Pig!

Do you want to know what the problem is with raising chickens?

Do you know what's wrong with being the famous "crazy" chicken lady?

People want to come visit your chickens.

Which means they have to come into the back yard.

Which means (unless I gouge their eyes out) they have to see my back deck and patio area.

Which is U-G-L-Y!

It's old, dirty, crumbling,  needs tearing down and a complete overhaul. kid is still in school....:(....grad school.... one more year..(I hope)...but....he is helping....he got a student loan but we will still help also.

So that among other things is making us hold off a little longer on much needed updates on the home front.

Any who....

So yesterday, friends call and say that they have friends from out of town that want to come see my chickens.

Have you ever seen an overweight, out of shape, 40 something year old woman look like Speedy Gonzales?

Andele, Andele, yeehiiiiii!!!!

I don't really even have a before pic for you because I carefully avoided that area with my camera.

Here is a little of the disaster area.

That was back in May when I was trying to be creative with plates........the post was "They Can't All Be Good Ideas"......if that tells you how well that project came out...:(

The patio needs pressure washing at the very least but I had no time for that since the company was coming very soon.

So I run around all over the house and yard and drag up all kinds of junk, crap, items that I may can use.

You know, put a little lipstick on this pig.

Now this next photo is the "after" photo but I do realize that it is my "before" photo for later, when I can afford to really fix this area.

Please don't expect anything nice......I was just going for tolerable.

Yes, I see the dirt and grime on the cement blocks that need to be painted.

Yes, that is painters tape on the steps,  I was going to paint them in the middle and a different color on the ends but I haven't finished that project yet.

Yes, she is still a pig, but I was hoping all the crap would distract you.

The company came, the chickens were shy, they hid under the dilapidated, even uglier deck, that may have had some trash under it, you know, the paper plate that got left outside and blew under the deck, or a cat food can that someone dropped, an old patio umbrella stand.

So of course the company has to stoop and look under the "trashy" deck to see the chickens (I scream NO!!!!!...silently inside my head.)

I don't know why, scary  lady in a book, I..........don't.........know......sigh.

This is my life.......all......the.....time.

And do you remember my grand declaration on 07/30th post?

Gratitude......not going to complain anymore.

Well since that post, my washing machine broke, my laundry room is still a mess, moved college kid back to school, the cat that I "cat sit" for came limping up with a broken leg and I have been taking her to the vet, spent and evening in the emergency room with my Dad, then went to doctors and specialists the next two days, water started pouring out of the ceiling vent because something was wrong with the air conditioner, I have a chicken with a limp and now I'm covered in poison oak!

I've used every remedy known to man, I really need a shot, or to be 

Right now I'm covering myself in Clorox bleach......I am the sexiest thing when I go to bed...whelps and the wonderful aroma of bleach.

Still not complaining, very grateful nothing was life threatening.

But I'm saying that when you make statements like that you better have the Bible by your side and Jesus on your lips!

Did I tell you I am a stress eater?

And did I tell you that I have a family reunion coming up very soon?

If I try really hard I will weigh over 500 pounds and be covered in sores by then.

(scratch, scratch)  


It's Just Dottie said...

Your post made me smile and to count my blessings like you. I need to become more gentle with my self.
This last week the ceiling in the entryway leaked, the washer broke and I had to buy a new one, the filter on the pool
had to be cleaned and I had to have the pool company do it, and yesterday my AC went out!!! Such as life . But my garden is lovely and it is softly raining today and tomorrow is a new day that The Lord made and I will rejoice in it. Dottie

Susannah said...

Take a deep breath...a real deep breath! I get like that and then the next day ..I will be back to my old self again. Your"new" porch is charming! I think it is great. You certainly have had a ton of stuff going on...Hope things calm down some.


Leave It To Davis said...

Oh, and if you DO weigh 500 pounds by the time the family reunion comes around, get a tshirt made that reads, "Not fat....just more of me to love!" And that will be that!

Debby Ray said...

If I ever met you face to face I would probably laugh so hard I would pee my pants! Bless your heart, woman! Tomorrow is Sunday...get some rest :)

Lynn said...

Oh my, where to start, Lisa . . . you see an unfinished deck, I see lovely . . . keeping good thoughts for you Dad; he is in excellent hands, Lisa . . . somewhere I read Listerine heals poison oak along with (copy and paste from Pinterest) ~baking soda bath, epsom salt wrap, mint tea bath, jewelweed infusion, apple cider vinegar & oatmeal bath, oatmeal paste, mint lard salve, diaper rash or hemorrhoid ointment, white household vinegar, buttermilk, honey, banana peel, calamine lotion, aloe vera gel . . . know you are among loving friends here and to heck with what people at the reunion might think about chubby little you, but please do try to dress nice for your Mom; she's got enough on her plate without . . . well, you know how she is about colors . . . blue would look nice with a rash. Love ya'

Lisa Tucker said...

Leave It To cheer me up...:))))) Lol!!! You made me smile so much...:)))) thanks!!!!

Lisa Tucker said...

It's Just Dottie, thank you so much. We all should focus on the good things....thanks for the reminder...:))) Have a great day!

Corn in my Coffee-Pot said...

I think your back porch "after(now before)" picture looks very rustic. I liked it!
The green tape on the steps is one of my all time favorite colors.
The "before (before the current before)" picture...looks like in progress.
When you live in the country, and you have chickens...and you have tons of other seems like the back porch is nothing more than a landing spot...for you know, getting in and out of the back door!
We don't really care WHAT IT LOOKS like, until we find out company is on the way.
Hope your poison oak clears up...hope all is going to be better for you this week.
I just found your blog this evening... I think, via Farm Girl Friday Blog hop... but now I can't be sure.

Tete said...

Holy cow, girl, I think I would be stressing a bit, too. Just got caught up on your past posts and hope your dad is still doing ok. DH has high blood pressure like his dad did. He does fine on the pills.
Hope you get rid of the poison oak. I hate scratching worst of all.
Student loans stink. Been there.
Your yard looks amazing and don't worry about the deck area. Just tell them its a work in progress, and that hubby has been a bit busy to pour the new footings...for the sunroom.
Hope things start going better around there and the stress goes away. Have you got a new washer yet, or did the drive shaft win out?