Friday, August 23, 2013

Judge Not Lest Ye....

As I was sitting outside this morning with my coffee and my Bible it seemed as if God was prompting me to share something on facebook.


So I did...

There was this girl......that I thought I knew sort of.....she got a divorce.....and a part of me judged.....I saw her going and doing......and she had kids (gasp) that she didn't spend every single moment with......I saw her lose weight......of course she is losing weight to attract guys......I saw her laughing and enjoying life.......I also heard all the gossip......look at her.....did she leave him?....she just got bored with him or does she have someone else?....poor ex-husband....then one day we had jury duty together.......we went to lunch......she told me her story......she was putting on a brave face.....she didn't want the divorce......her husband had problems but she doesn't want to talk about her ex badly.....people didn't know about his problem....she lost weight from nerves and trying to act strong for her kids......she went to the beach because her family absolutely made her go (her kids insisted)......she didn't want this life....she knows she hasn't done everything right....she's prayed.....she's cried.....she's worried about her kids.....she's worried about her ex......she talks to God all the time....she knows everyone is talking about her....she has lost good friends.....I am ashamed.....I listened to the gossip.....I didn't know the whole story (most people don't)....I judged....I didn't spend every single moment with my kids......I go and do and enjoy life.....I've not done everything right in my life.....at.....all......my holier than thou self didn't talk about her....but I listened....I didn't reach out to her.....I didn't call and ask her how she was doing and if she needed just to talk to someone...I didn't go to her house and pray with her....I missed the mark.....God doesn't ask me to be her judge......in fact, just the opposite.."Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." Ephesians 4:29 Now I don't believe that I should encourage someone to get a divorce but I should be a compassionate friend and pray for them and be there for them. She couldn't take all the gossip and the judgement from her "Christian" town so she moved way up north. She goes to church in her new town and she takes her kids. She still loves her ex and he loves her. They are working on things. She loves God with all her heart and she is living with his forgiveness and his love and trusting in him every day. She's not perfect and neither am I. This is not anyone that you know........this is everyone that you know......you may be "her" or you may be "me" but we all need each other. "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." Ephesians 4:32 So please forgive me everyone.....I am a work in progress....I will pray for you if you will pray for me...and we are blessed that we have a merciful and forgiving God.




Well my facebook blew up!

Little did I know how many people would be touched by this.

I didn't know but God did.

Because of all of the honest and heart felt responses I got a whole new understanding of 

judging people when we know nothing about what's going on and about how many people

feel our judgment and how it really affects them.



This lesson may have been put on my heart to share with others

or

it may have been just for me.


Either way....I'm so grateful for the lesson

and 

16 comments:

Michelle said...

Thank you for sharing this. Yes, many do judge and until they are actually living in that said life, we cannot judge. People do try to but up a brave face but at some point, we break..We break from the stress and the issues that go on from home, behind our closed doors.

Again, thank you for sharing and thank you for having lunch with your friend. I am sure it meant the world to her.

Michelle

Linda W. said...

Wise words - A good reminder that we should not to be so quick to judge someone.

Anna said...

Thank you so much for sharing this. We are so quick to judge, sometimes just in our hearts, but that is still judging. God wants as to love and to reach out. You have bin a blessing to me this morning.

Barbara F. said...

Oh Lisa, I tend to be judgemental, for terrorists, parents who kill their children due to neglect, etc. I don't know how to stop this kind of judging. I guess I need to stop watching the news or reading the paper.

Leave It To Davis said...

If you don't learn to be compassionate, life will teach you hard lessons on how to be compassionate. I have had those lessons. When others talk and point and whisper about people and their misfortunes, I remind them it could just as well be them experiencing the same thing. Unfortunately for me, I had to have several lessons in life to learn this....and full understanding didn't come for me until I was in my 50's. This lesson goes for sooooooo many situations. Just remember the next time you (and I don't mean YOU in particular....just anyone reading this) start to talk about someone's misfortune in this life and sneer in that holier-than-thou mask that you put on (and again, I don't mean YOU), that you don't want to have to learn compassion the hard way. I can testify to this. Learn to be compassionate from the understanding of others. I would love to tell you about how I came to this point so that you (and this time I do mean YOU) would understand where I am coming from. This is a very, very serious subject for me. Very.

My Maine Blog said...

Well, yet again you have struck a cord deep in my heart and soul that I have long lived with myself. I don't talk about this to others because it is still, after all these years, a very painful experience...in some ways...not all...just like the woman you are writing about. When the dust settled somewhat in my own experience it left me feeling lost and alone and judged by neighbors and friends and family. I was shunned by some and made to feel ashamed because I divorced my husband...I was brought up strict Catholic so my leaving was frowned upon by my church too. It wasn't long before I just went into a shell and shielded myself from the hurt and the shame that I felt from rejection. I learned that lesson so long ago from my own experience that you CANNOT judge anyone for what they do, how they look, what they say...nothing...and that is why I always say...KINDNESS MATTERS and for those who do judge then they need to walk a mile in my shoes. My past is my past and I have forgiven all those that have hurt me but there are times when you can never forget. Lisa...as always...you have written something so poignant and especially in this world that we live in today it is so relevant and so important to be kind and to show love to everyone we meet. Thank you for writing this. Love and Hugs and Blessings.

Lee Ann said...

thank you for this. I am guilty of this at times and I sometimes feel like I am on the receiving end of judgement as well. It hurts.

Debby Ray said...

As you know (if you can see it among so many other responses!) I commented on facebook. I was home from work eating lunch as I was reading so I just read it again. I hope I am getting better at this....SO much better than I used to be...BUT...I needed this reminder today as well. We are going through a rough time in our church right now...it's about to split WIDE OPEN unless the Lord intervenes. There is much divisiveness going on...people who have been there for years...some even who helped start the church way back when. Satan has been attacking and I have found myself making some judgemental comments. I know there are hurt feelings all around. I heard Joyce Meyer say this the other day... "Christians" can be some of the meanest people and say the ugliest things...we are experiencing this in our church at this moment and it breaks my heart. May God forgive me for any ugly attitude that I have gotten through this mess and may He give me the grace I need to be sweet regardless the circumstance. Thank you for being obedient to the Lord and posting your heart out :)

Our Neck of the Woods said...

What a special lesson for all of us! Thank you for being brave enough to share this. If we are honest, we are all guilty of judging others (myself included). I will take this to heart and remember to be compassionate next time I know someone going through a tough situation.

Brenda said...

Great post, a lesson for everyone.

Debbie S. said...

Guilty as charged.

Everyone has a story going on in their lives and many times, it's much worse than what we see on the outside.

May God help us all to become compassionate and caring and leave the discipline and judgement up to Him.

Lisa Tucker said...

My Maine...sweet Kathleen....I hate that you had to go through that hurt. I am ashamed that I have judged anyone ever...because we all fall short. Thank you for sharing your story and it just makes me want to treat others even better because I can't imagine hurting someone as sweet as you. Love and hugs!

Lisa Tucker said...

Leave it To Davis....you always make me feel better. (and I mean you) I so appreciate each comment that you make. After hearing from all of you it makes me try even harder. Thanks! Hugs!

Debi @ DebiStangeland.com said...

Great words. Thank you for being faithful. I am encouraged by your post today.

BARBIE said...

This is such an important topic. It is so easy for me to fall into judgment, without fully knowing someone's story. "Judge not, lest you be judged." I never want to stand in judgment. I must move with compassion and learn to see other's through the eyes of Christ. Blessings!

Tete said...

What an awesome post. God will work through those who are willing to step up and do it. Bless your heart for listening to Him. Its something we all need to hear. Something we all need to work on. We all do it, to some point or other. I think its one of our biggest flaws as humans. None of us are perfect and we each have to find our way, but when we help each other, our roads are clearer, the bumps get filled in, and we are blessed by the Father. Keep speaking up when you hear His call. Unless you can look into the heart- you cannot judge that person. I have a saying- if everyone worried about their own souls as much as they worry about everyone else's, no one would go to hell. Love this post!