My Big Fat Wedding Problem

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGG!!!!

I have a wedding to go to.

It's at 5 p.m. Saturday so it's a little dressier than normal?

I hate myself in a dress.

I hate dressing up.

40+ pounds overweight, big shoulders, big boobs

a pea head and very little hair.

That sounds attractive huh?

I don't hate myself.....I really do love myself....

In fact I may be too confident......my husband loves me a lot....

and still finds me attractive, I have a lot of friends and I really enjoy my life.

So most days I don't worry about diet and exercise.....I think about it....

but I don't worry about it.

But I know what I want to look like weight wise and clothes wise...

and this ain't it.

Most days I've learned the tricks to camouflage in my capris and tops

but a wedding?

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGG!!!!

So here we go...

This little thing that is about half the size of my body goes first.

I put it on.

That sounds so simple doesn't it?

Ha!

I'm sweating and grunting and gyrating and it's just over my head

squeezing me  like a python under my arm pits,  pinning my arms straight up in the air.

It's stuck.....it won't go over my boobs and I can't bring my arms down...

great.....now what?

I hop, squirm, run around in a circle and almost hyperventilate.

WHY haven't I  tried losing weight?

I finally manage to hyper extend my elbow and just barely get my thumb under the 

python squeezing my arm pits and

tug.....hop.....breathe.......and

tug.....hop.....breathe....and POP!

it slides over one boob.....

we're making progress now!

One arm is free...the other is still stuck up in the air.

I can now pull it over my other boob and the python is at my waist.

I'm freeeee!

Well....sort of.

I thought seriously of sitting down and eating some cookies to reward myself 

(no Lisa....bad Lisa)

plus the python was restricting my stomach.

So I pull the top part up and the bottom part down and the python is finally on.

I try on the first dress.....it's blue.

A big blue whale....yep...big up top and a little smaller down bottom....

all I need is a spout at the top of my head..............this is a no.

Oh this one is cute with a little stretchy jacket.....

that....will.....not........get...........past..........my.......upper........arms.

What about this floral dress..........

that looks like....a.....king.....size.....bed......sheet.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGG!!!

I hate weddings!!

Why can't you wear yoga pants to every event?

Why did I eat a 1/2 gallon of ice cream in two days?

Is it possible to lose 40 pounds in 3 days?

Well.....as Scarlett O'hara once said....

"I'll think about that tomorrow."

Now......all.....I ......have....to......do.....is...

take off the python......

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGG!!!!

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Storm Prep

Storm preparation...

I will help others also....

I'm selfless like that...;)

Breesy..(our dog)...maybe you should be a little concerned about the bad weather.

Breesy.......BREESY!

Yaaaawwwnnn.......give me five more minutes...

Maybe she is smarter than the rest of us.....:)


Now let me see........maybe I should use hubby's pajamas again to plug up the holes

in the chicken coop before the storm hits.

WHAT?????

Oh......hubby!!  I didn't know you were home......I said.....ummm...

I wonder if there is going to be drama in the chicken coop before the storm.

Do you want some supper?

Hubby:  Nahh.....I'm just going to eat some of that ice cream you just bought.

Me:  ummmm.........

Hubby:  Hey.....where's all the ice cream?!!!

Stay safe my friends...

Sounds

I'm a little nostalgic this morning.

  I've been on facebook and all the moms of Seniors have been sad over their child's last ballgame or something to do with this being their last year of school. 

It is sad. 

 Both of my boys are out of high school. 

 I have one in college and one who is working and living on his own. 

 Some days are sad. 

 You know what I notice the most now that they're gone? 

  The silence.

  You never think that sounds would be an important part of your every day.

  You start off with the sounds of a baby. 

 The crying, the cooing, you listen for every little sound that they make. 

 You don't realize your world is revolving around their sounds.

  Then they become children. 

 The sounds pretty much turns into noise, haha.

  They are arguing and running and yelling and making truck sounds and it's a constant barrage of noise. 

 Then they become teenagers. 

 Wow do the sounds change then. 

 The new sounds are grunts, and deep irritated sighs.

 Or it would be "Mom, I need you to iron my shirt.", "Mom, you have to bake a dozen cookies for school." and "Mom, I need to borrow some money."

  I never thought I would miss the sound of slamming doors or the truck revving and screeching out of the driveway. 

 And this morning as I type this it is totally silent.

  What I wouldn't give for any of those sounds. 

 So I tell you parents of young ones......enjoy the noise. 

 One day the silence will come.

Easter Weekend....Part two

Just so you know.....I realize these posts of family events are probably not that interesting to you.

 At the beginning of becoming a blogger I once worried that I wouldn't measure

up to the bigger, better bloggers........and I don't...lol.

But I finally figured out that this was more like a personal diary for me.

I love going back and reading old posts....it's like looking through a scrapbook.

I do dearly love your comments but I don't blame you if you have nothing to say on these family posts.

You are always kind and I thank you for that...

so stop reading now if you're not interested in another family outing...:)

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Easter morning we always celebrate with my Mom and Dad and their church.

It's  a tradition to have sunrise service at a beautiful cemetery.

It's always so special.

Then afterwards me, my hubby and my boys go through Hardees drivethru

(my favorite part), get our breakfast and head out turkey hunting.

This hunting consists of my hubby stopping on the hunting land....he gets out of the truck...

he yelps (turkey talk)......and if he hears one they quietly get out of the truck and

get to hunting.

Did you notice I said they?

I bring books and a blanket and a pillow.....

I DID get up at 4:30 this morning....

I may take a quick nap while there are hunting.

Isn't that a lovely picture?

I try so hard to photograph my family in the very best way....

always making sure they look good.

And college kid gets this pic of me scratching my nose....uggg.

Anywho....

No luck with the turkeys...

We did find this interesting fungus....

I was afraid Monday's headlines would read..

"Local family is quarantined due to handling toxic fungus"

I may be an alarmist....

But the fungus was pretty....

Even though we didn't get a turkey I love this tradition that we do every year

as a family.

I tell you, it's tough sometimes being the only girl in this family.

They don't go shopping or to the nail salon with me so I have to do their "thing" to

spend quality time with them.

I don't mind.....I kind of like it.

And every now and then you manage to stumble upon a gem.

Last year I managed to capture this special photo...

#PRICELESS

This Day....

If you are feeling less than blessed then just step outside and feel the sunshine on

your face and breathe in that wonderful Spring air and stand in awe

of this day that the Lord has made!

Easter Weekend Part 1

Every where I looked.....beautiful Easter scenes.

Families all dressed up in there Sunday best......egg hunting...beautiful table settings.

Even on Saturday there were cookouts and photo shoots.

THIS was my crazy family photo shoot.

My Mom summoned us all for a work day on Saturday and

then Sunrise service on Sunday.

You don't get to see the beautiful, dressed up photo because we were to tired

and sore to lift the camera.....:)

Because Mom wasn't kidding......we cut limbs.....we cut down trees....

we cleaned up limbs...we worked!

No small, little baby limbs.....

Well the one I have is small....but most were not.

(note to self...do not tuck head down....double chin alert..must take all photos looking up

"Oh look ...a bird...in the sky"....only photos allowed.)

Do you see how close this tree was to the house.....

This tree took much discussion about where it would fall...

I would give them my two cents but they seemed to ignore me.

And the chicken coop was right behind where I was standing taking this photo.

I turned around and there isn't a chicken in sight.

They all ran into the coop....I wonder if they know something that we don't?

Chicken intuition....hmmmm....

But the men did a great job.....whew...

Only had to do a little fence mending...

My boys and my brothers.....does my heart good....:)

We did do some cooking...

(college kid is mentally telling me to quit taking photos)

we waited 30 minutes with a little resting before returning to work....

(yes we know this only pertains to swimming but we pretended that it didn't)

(this is my oldest son with my Dad.....heart smile..:)

and we hid eggs for the little ones...

and then I said I need a sibling photo....

this was the last and only sibling photo we had....

so now we have this....

It would be a great photo if I didn't have the BA-BA-BA-BANANA shirt on....

The two oldest on the right with their dark hair and olive skin...

and the two youngest on the left blonde and paler..

We had worked and sweated and didn't wear makeup...oh well...

I'm so grateful to have this.

I caught this photo of the girls eating candy in the back of the truck...

I love it because their hair is messy and they are just enjoying being with each other.

And I might add that the heaviest thing they picked up all day was that basket....lol.

#princesses

All in all it was a great day of work and food and family.

I know that I will look back at these days as the best of times.

#love my family.

I hope you all had a great Easter also.

Think Warm Thoughts......

Yes!!!!!

:)

Noooooo!!

:(

No frost.....no frost.....no frost.....

come on....

say it with me..

I can't take it.....

because THIS has already happened....:(

What?????

No....I didn't just sneak in ANOTHER pic of the tree....;)

Last one...

I promise....

maybe.

Don't Be Selfish With Those Selfies

It's a good day!

Dogs!

Flowers!

Chickens!

And then I decided I would try some sarcastic selfies...

you know.....we all hate selfies.....

and we all make fun of the selfie obsessed...(like me)

So here is my tribute to selfies....

Fishlip selfie....

I never understood this one....

I do know that 20 year old fishlips looks better than 50 year old fishlips...

Next up....

the my animal is so cute but I can't just get a pic of my animal I must be in it also selfie...

This cracks me up......Sambo is freaking out.....:)

Next.....

I am such a deep thinker selfie......

You need to do some deep thinking on those neck wrinkles.....:(

and then we have the famous

seat belt selfie...

Of course with an XL package of toilet paper in the background...

I absolutely refuse to do the bathroom mirror selfie...

(mainly because I don't want to clean the bathroom)

and I have one more......

wait for it......

wait for it.......

The TREEEEEEEE selfie.....:)

I apologize for nothing......

you HAD to see the TREE again.....:)

Now....

don't be selfish with those selfies.....

be loud and proud...

show those fishlips....

those neck wrinkles....

the TP in the background.....

I can't wait to seeeeeeee....

your selfie in a treeeeeee.....

:)