Saturday, February 7, 2015

TMI....There is a limit to how much your husband wants to know

You would think that after being married for 30 years that you could tell
each other anything....
I mean, surely you have seen the best and worst of each other by now.
He has seen me with no makeup and with bed head. 
He has heard (and filmed) my snoring.
I can't hide my double chin or my love for Debbie Cakes from him (although I try).
He has come to terms that his wife is know as "the crazy chicken lady".
But as I am aging I keep noticing different things about me and my
body that wasn't there in the previous 30 years of marriage.
All of a sudden I'm really paying attention when they are advertising
how to remove skin tags.
And you may check my latest search on the computer and find
"how much does it cost to tack your bladder back up?"
And no one talks about mother has told me nothing other than
lose weight while you are young.
And I dropped the ball big time on that one.
So I know I've pushed him a little over the ledge lately.
I know he LOVES me dearly and I may be taking advantage of that
when I've let him catch me pluck that chin hair or the time he was
horrified to see me shaving MY mustache ( I know..I know...I wax...but sometimes
in an emergency).
And then there was the other day....
we were enjoying riding home from work together
and talking about anything and everything....
and I don't know why I MUST share every little detail with him...
but I said I would like to lose 60 pounds.
And he (sweet man that he is) said don't...
you look great just like you are.
And I say "well, my belly button would really like me to lose it."
And he looks at me with his brow furrowed and asked "what?....why?"
I say "did you know that when you gain a lot of weight in your belly
that your bellybutton closes in on itself.  It sweats something awful and
sometimes gets a rash?
He interrupts me and says "LISA.....NO!"
I guess there is a limit to how much you can reveal to your husband.
I sure hope the saying  "it's your personality that counts" is true.


Gail said...

Fantastic post.

Just wait...oh, there are many things that might surprise you.

We have been married forty-two years and Hubby says he's never been bored.

Florida Farm Girl said...

Oh, girl!!!! ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!

Stacey said...

Oh this is hilarious and so true. When I had a hysterectomy last month my poor husband had to accompany me to the bathroom for the first two or three days. I was mortified too but you know after surgery it's easy to faint so he was there. :) Now he's heard too much talk about after the hysterectomy effects. That's love though!

Poppy said...

You and hubby make such a cute couple! I'm sure that WHATEVER you tell him he can handle. How? In one ear, out the other - that's how most men survive such exchanges, I suspect. Think about it: if there's nothing to retain, 'no gain, no pain'!:)

Keep smiling!


Kathy Felsted Usher said...

LOL, your poor husband!

mommar6 said...

Get that bladder taken care of. You'll be so glad you did.

Carla from The River said...

LOVE YOU ~ I just love you for making me laugh. And I love how honest you are!!
Thank you!
xx oo

Tete said...

You are just freakin' hilarious! My belly button herniated, but the drop dead gorgeous surgeon of mine had to see it before he could fix it when he did my gall bladder surgery...Like I hope we never have to have any contact outside of the clinic. DH was there a the way and heard him say he had to fix it cuz that's where they go in at to take it out...
But it gets better! He fixed it too well- its tighter than its ever been and I can't get my finger in there to clean it out, so on the post op trip to said surgeon, I asked for cleaning instructions...with DH sitting there. You know the eye rolls happened right there with both of them...
Over 30 years- of plucking, shaving and he even had to wipe my butt after surgery! But he's still here.
He picks on me so bad! I just tell him he's jealous cuz I can grow a better mustache!

Debby Ray said...

Awww...he wants you to stay just the way you are. No doubt we will never see you two on Dr. Phil :) what a guy!!

Art and Sand said...

Oh, the issues of aging. My husband and I have been together nearly 45 years and so we have nothing to hide anymore!

Willow said...

You are just the very cutest girl in the world , right down to that sweaty belly button ! lol I've missed you too and as soon as I saw that comment I came a running ( and a posting) . Your the best ...smiling I am .

Anonymous said...

This is funny but I think some things should remain private even with a loving husband. Sure they love us but that is why they accept us as we are. That doesn't mean they want to hear about aches, pains and unflattering beauty and hygiene procedures. We wives should try to be attractive and desirable no matter how long the marriage is. He doesn't need to know Everything! Some things are best left unsaid!