My "Not So" Ordinary Country Life Weekend

A friend of mine invited a group of us girls to her house at the beach for the weekend!!

Let's just start with the house.

ummm....yeah.....

the kitchen....

the living room...

my room...

I mean....just look at the ceilings...

my bath tub...

swoon!!!!!

I laughed every time I typed "My Ordinary Country Life" on these photos....

So Not So Ordinary...

Oh and if you get tired walking up the stairs...

just take a seat on the window seat...

one of the favorite spots was the swinging bed on the back porch!

I was in heaven....:)

This place is indescribable....

not just the house but the entire place.

These homes are in a neighborhood or village or I'm not sure how to describe it...

private community that is on the beach.

There are cobblestone streets, bike paths, pools, tennis courts, a cute post office, little markets,

precious shops, 

I mean they raise "superheros" here....

(and do you see his mom.....ALL the people looked this way....I was the ONLY fat person there.)

(we will get into that later)

No lie!

All of these streets and shops etc. overlooked the ocean.

Do you know what you did not see?

No Walmart....no gas stations.....no Target....no Dollar General..no highway...nothing commercial.

Did I mention that everything overlooked the ocean?

I really felt like I was in "The Truman Show".

And do you know why?

Because it was filmed there!!

That's the "Truman house".

Everything was so private. 

You rode bikes everywhere.

Umm....do you see the cut off blue jean shorts....

#fatgirlproblems

#didntgetthememoaboutnikeshorts

#don'townany

#outofmyelement

We will talk about this later.

A bridge, over one of the many lakes, that had glass blown cat tails with lights in them.

Then you travel to the next neighborhood/ private community town and this is what you see..

 shops and restaurants and right around that corner.........

the ocean!!!

No tourists....no traffic.....

my mind can't process it.

We go to a place called "La Crema".....what is this place you say?

Oh....only a place that serves chocolate fondue!

Delicious!!

A few of our friends were arriving later....

three girls that I have never met were coming.

Now.......only big girls will understand this but...

all of my friends are small, stylish and fabulous!!

And if you have noticed in my photos that the sun didn't shine very much.

That would be my fault.

I prayed for a snow storm......a no bathing suit kind of day.

And is it wrong that I prayed that at least one of the new girls would weigh more than me?

It didn't happen....:(

We will talk about this later.

We walked around the shops some more and I was the only one that was really interested in this...

I didn't buy it of course...... and  they all eat healthy ...

we'll talk about that later.

So we get ready later and go out to eat at a restaurant called The Red Bar...that's why we are all red.

Let me just say the food the entire weekend was delicious!!!

And I forgot to tell y'all that when the late comers arrived at the house they were all laughing

when they got out of the vehicle. (imagine that)

Apparently Jimmy Fallon and Justin Timberlake have a skit where they only talk in #hashtags.

So of course......the entire weekend.....

we said #hashtag before saying anything.

If I was across the room I could hear #hashtag this and #hashtag that and know exactly where

my group was....lol. (and so could everyone else) (#haters)

Us...:)

#hashtag Us

We watched football all day Saturday.

And I must say Alabama and Auburn represented well!

It's a good thing because we were a house divided.....and I actually for once cheered for Auburn.

Great game!

And let's just talk about a house full of women only and we were watching football....lol!

And then of course we went out to eat...(I'm sure I gained 20 pounds)

We went out to a nice restaurant for our last night out.

But we just couldn't stop #hashtag talking and laughing.

And to top it off our waiter picked up on it and he knew the skit we were talking about and he joined in.

It was all fun until a combover Donald Trump looking man sitting at the next table complained to the manager.

So we left the poor waiter a very big tip and as we were leaving we asked to see the manager

and he....... 

before we could say anything........said.....#hashtag!!!!!!  LOL!

The waiter wasn't in trouble at all!

Later on that night we were walking past an outdoor area and we heard #hashtag and we

turned around and it was our waiter....hahaha!

So we had a great time!

Then we go back to the house and get comfortable and rehash (tag) lol...the entire night.

I wanted to get a group photo but at this point it was like herding cats.

got it!

And then....the next morning.....oh no......time to go home.

No makeup.....aren't my friends beautiful?!

One last meal as we head out of town...

My poor stomach is in for a rude awakening when we get home...

it will say "what is this peanut butter sandwich about?"

Well as you can see I have wonderful friends!

And we had a fabulous time!!

But on the way home I was having a serious discussion with myself.

I hit ALL the check marks.......

I was the biggest....

I was the oldest.....

I was least stylish.....

I was the only one with short hair....

Oh......I know.....my friends love me.....they are awesome.....and I do have great self esteem but

tell me....really......

what woman wants to hit ALL of the check marks?!

My friends just "throw on something".......

fat girls don't just "throw on something"....

we have to shop ten weekends before hand, hit 6 malls, 4 "specialty" stores, try on hundreds of outfits

buy spanks, no sleeveless, can't be too loose or it looks like a tent, but it can't be too clingy or it

shows all the rolls and does this come in black?....and still

pray for a snow storm.

So I'm going over all of this in my head coming home and I'm trying to hit "rock bottom"

so I will get mad and do something about it but I still

have that happy glow from having such a good time and I glance in

the rear view mirror and there it was.......

rock bottom.....

a hair sticking out from my chin......that I'm sure was there all weekend....

#nailed it

#rock bottom

#mission accomplished

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