Saturday, December 28, 2013

I'm Allergic To Class Reunions




FACEBOOK POST #1
So...who's bright idea was it to have a class reunion days after the Christmas holidays? I have pasty white skin, fudge filled out cheeks (and not just on the face) all of my pants are too tight, and it will take all the reindeer to get me out of this recliner......hmmm...what to wear.....should I just put on the Santa suit and complete the look?....#needtomovetothenorthpole

FACEBOOK POST #2
I mean I need a Christmas miracle......this fat fifty year old wants an outfit to make her look like a firm 18 year old.....where's the Sisterhood of Traveling Pants when you need one?

Hunter Andrews's photo.


FACEBOOK POST #3
Ok...I'm sure there is something in this closet.....dig...dig....dig....yes!...no...too tight......dig..dig..dig....what about.......no....looks like I'm trying too hard......dig...dig....dig....I like this.....no.....looks like my pajamas......dig...dig...dig....I think I'm coming down with something......cough....cough.....am I running a fever?


FACEBOOK POST #4
Cough, cough......wheeeeeze.....sniffffff........I...cough...may be....cough....too sick.....achoo......to make the class reunion....snifffffffff......what's that.......ohhhhhhh.....we're eating....and there will be dessert......I'm feeling much better..........just let me put on my stretchy pants!...

Friday, December 27, 2013

Twilight Zone - Christmas "Tradition"



I don't really know how to start this post......

imagine the music to Twilight Zone....

Behind these walls of this ordinary home....

nee-na-nee-na-nee-na-nee-na-nee-na-nee-na (the music)

as a normal family gets ready for Christmas

things just get weird.....

I don't know why....

and I've heard other people say it too...

or do I say that every year?

My emotions have been all over the map.....

singing carols and dancing and happy as can be....

and then crying, complaining and miserable.

Why?

I don't have the slightest clue.

And then comes the really funny part.....

my three guys trying to figure it out.

Example:

For years and years I have been trying to get hubby to do a family "tradition."

I don't care what it is...just something that is meaningful for our family.

I have tried a yearly car ride looking at lights, a domino game and chili, instead of

gifts a "yearly" trip with just the 4 of us...etc..etc..

And nothing seems to stick. (because he & the boys can't or don't want to etc.)

And EVERY year I get melancholy about it.

And EVERY year they don't have a clue.

So on Christmas Eve eve I hear my hubby on the phone.

The boys were not home....it was just hubby and I.

Me: Who was that? Are you going somewhere?

Hubby:  Yes...that was Brian.  We are going to the river and build a bonfire

with Todd and Jerry.  You know.......like we do every year...

it's a tradition.

(now I know all of you women out there just gasped out loud)

Me:  (imagine a fire breathing dragon) YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT YOU

CAN HAVE TRADITIONS WITH YOUR FRIENDS.....BUT ....NOT..

YOUR FAMILY!!!!!!!

Hubby: (looking totally shocked) Well...I ...ummm...

Me: (crying now) AllIwantedwasustodoafamilytraditionandwecan'tevendothat...

(sniff) youcaremoreaboutyourfriendsthanyoudous

(sniff...sniff)

Hubby: I....ummmm.....

Me: (dragon again) WELL..THAT'S FINE!!! YOU DO WHATEVER YOU WANT!!

(I'm putting on my jacket)

Hubby: Wait.....where are you going....I didn't know....

Me: I'M GOING TO LOOK AT CHRISTMAS LIGHTS...

ALL.....BY......MYSELF!!

(slams door)

Hours later I came home.....needless to say hubby did not go with his friends...

but that didn't matter......I was still mad.

The next day I was a little better and some time during the day the hubby

must have told the boys about it and to be on their best behavior.

They were like "do you want to take a family picture mom?"

And they NEVER want to do that.

(don't we look sweet.....HA!)

I decided that I wanted to be in church (and needed to be..lol)

on Christmas Eve and maybe would start a new tradition for our family.

Our church doesn't have a service but I found out about another local church

and decided to go at 6 on Christmas Eve.

Wouldn't that be a great new "tradition" for our family?!

I told the guys.....

this was met with "you know we go hunting every year"

"it's our (gulp) tradition."


Me:  I'm leaving at 6 if anyone wants to go with me.(pouting)

I get dressed and around 6 I go to church.........alone.

Thank goodness the services were so touching that for that hour

I forgot about being mad.

And you should have seen the feast awaiting me when I walked in the door.

The guys were cooking up a storm.....lol.


I was waited on hand and foot.

Niceness was dripping off of all of them.

So we enjoyed our evening and we open presents on Christmas Day.

That went great and then we go to hubby's mom's house...which is a tradition...

that I didn't mind at all.

And that evening we are watching football, of course,

(this is the life of living with all men)

and hubby gets a phone call.

Hubby:  That was Todd (his friend)....

I told him we would come over in a little while...

you know....

like we always do...

(you should have seen the look on my boys faces)

(they were looking back and forth....like....uh oh)

Me:  I'm not going. (yes....I was petty at this point)

Hubby:  But that's something we always do together as a couple.

Me:  Because it's what YOU want to do!!

Do you know how hard it was for me to go to church all by myself?!!!

Hubby: FINE!

Me: FINE!

Boys: MERRY CHRISTMAS!


Do you ever have holidays like this?

I don't know what was wrong with me?

I let the devil in and he took over our Christmas!

This is what happens when you take your eyes and your thoughts off of

Jesus.

And boy did I need Jesus!

The next day I was over all of it.

I mean like......

I was thinking....

Why was I so out of sorts?

Thank goodness we had one more day before hubby had to

go back to work.

We got along fine.....even if the guys did give me side glances a lot.

I'm sure they were on edge waiting on the next eruption.

My friend from out of town came over that night

and my husband and boys sat around and talked

with us and it was great.

After she left hubby was putting on his jacket.

Me: Where are you going?

Hubby:  I'm suppose to help someone get their truck out of a ditch

but I didn't want to leave because

your friend comes every year.....you know.....

a tradition....

(cue music)

nee-na-nee-na-nee-na-nee-na

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Disclaimer

My hubby and boys are wonderful!! Most of the time they cannot do enough for me....I don't

want anyone to think they aren't the absolute best......and no....they are not standing over me making me

write this....lol.  I just wanted to be real and I thought it was funny how the male/female

versions of Christmas go......:)





Monday, December 23, 2013

Don't Tell My Mom


Yeah....I did.

DON'T LOOK ETHEL!!

It's too late.....

She's done gone to Walmart wearing them clothes!!

I ran into all kinds of folks that I know...

did I think that I would see no one?!!

And then as I'm strolling through there like Miss America

I put this in the cart for meeeee!


I don't think Santa or any of my guys are going to buy this for me

so a girls got to do what a girls got to do!

I'm afraid I saw people taking pics of me on their phones and

I feel like I may wind up on that site "what crazy people wear to Walmart."

Oh well.....

it's all good....

unless my Mom finds out....:(

Christmas Gathering - Take One


Yes.......it happened....

I finally got full....

don't want to see anymore food...

miracles can happen...:)


We partied hard...

we opened a lot of presents....


We played dirty Santa....

we put bags over our heads....

just to make little girls laugh....


We ALL held the baby.....

we took family photos.....






and everyone hated me because I was the one saying

"let's take another photo"

because you see what happens when I'm not in control

and not taking the picture myself.


My brother thought this was soooooo funny....

I'm telling them to kneel at my feet...hahaha....

well not at my feet....but beside me and for some reason

this was met with resistance.....

I managed to get this group together but I'm having trouble with my three.....


But after Mama says

"because I said so!"

We finally got it!

(even though my brother could have said...."wait...there are stocking coming out of your heads)

but this will just have to do.

Merry Christmas everyone!!


Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Merry.............



I want to capture this moment
and hold it in my heart
shut out any bad news
and cut out any sad parts

I would cook hot vanilla pudding
and put it in 4 cups
and make them homemade soup
and give leftovers to the pups

We would laugh about funny times
and pick each other apart
I want to capture this moment
and hold it in my heart

I wonder if they know
I sit here happy as can be
Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas to me!