Father's Day Fiasco

 

 

 

Hello!

 

I hope everyone enjoyed the Father's Day weekend!

 

My dad's church hosted a father/daughter banquet Saturday and my mom

 

told my sister and I that dad wanted us to go with him....

 

what can you say?

 

So I texted my sister (who lives a state away) and broke the news

 

to her.

 

We laughed about us probably being the oldest daughters there (and we were).

 

We get to the small church and they had decorated it so cute.

 

 

We have arrived!

 

Yes my sister and I are complete opposites...she looks like mom and I look like dad.

 

And you will soon hear that I act like him also.

 

It was a small group of about 20 people and we had a wonderful speaker that also

 

sang a few songs.

 

We were in a small room so the speaker was about 10 feet away from us.

 

I take my phone in to take photos and I put it on mute (I'm not rude ya know).

 

My dad was sitting across the table from my sister and I.

 

He picked up my phone from the table and I'm in a panic because dad and cell phones

 

are a disaster waiting to happen.

 

He looks at the time and whispers/not whispers ( I don't know where he learned to whisper)

 

"is today Friday?"

 

I'm mortified and I'm shaking my head and barely whisper back "no...it's Saturday."

 

Dad whispers/notwhispers.... "I think the car race is on!"

 

I thought we were about to have to get up and take him home but we stayed.

 

As he put my phone back on the table (in this very quiet room),

 

my phone says "I'm sorry, I could not understand what you were asking?"

 

EEEKKK!!!  SIRI!!!!

 

My sister's eyes are screaming at me "DO SOMETHING!!!!"

 

What could I do.....it was done.

 

So we just tried to shrink down and not move for the rest of the night....but no.

 

This little girl was sitting next to us..........adorable!

 

 

And she was perfectly good and quiet until my dad started playing with her,

 

throwing napkins at her until she erupted in giggles and talking to him.

 

Her mom got on to her and I got on to dad.

 

Finally the speaker asked if he could pray before we ate and he asked if fathers and daughters could

 

hold hands.

 

Well my family loves each other dearly but we have never done much holding hands etc

 

so I though it would be nice to capture this rare photo.

 

While my head was bowed I did lift up my camera and tried to guess what angle

 

to hold it and I quickly held the volume button on the side ( I just learned that this will snap

 

a photo on the IPhone) because I didn't want to be rude during the prayer.

 

(barely got my hands in dad's)

 

 

 

But of course something had to go wrong..........

 

my camera went noisily .....clickclickclickclickclickclickclickclick

 

clickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclick

 

640 pictures!!!!!!!!!!

 

WHYYYYYY???????

 

Again.....my poor sister is kicking me under the table!

 

I promise y'all I do not intentionally do these things.

 

We eat and win some door prizes....my dad won the visor that is in every photo...

 

my mom is going to kill him....lol. If you look at my first photo dad is also

 

suppose to be wearing a tie...lol.

 

 

It was a great banquet and I apologized to the host and speaker for our noise.

 

Everyone left and of course this Walker crew couldn't do that normally!

 

Somebody locked the keys in the truck!!!!

 

 

 

Don't y'all want us to come to all of your functions?

 

shaking my head..........typical.

 

The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

 

Or better

 

 

 

And that concludes our Father's Day fiasco.

 

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The Good Wife

 

 

So you know you're from the South when:

I'm lying in bed last night and I feel something on the back of my arm.

 

  I'm thinking "uggg....is that a tick?"

 

 So I grab it and pull and "pop" it comes off. I turn on my bedside lamp and it is not a tick......

 

it is something worse...........a skin tag.

 

  I feel the back of my arm and I'm bleeding like a stuck pig...frown emoticon

 

  Then I hear Shannon say....what's wrong....why is your arm bleeding?

 

  Panic mode sets in. Should I say a tick????

 

 No...that's nasty......a skin tag....no that means his wife is old....think.........think.... umm......

 

YOU scratched it!!

 

  He says...oh...I'm so sorry.

 

 Whew.......problem solved.....just make the hubby feel guilty........don't judge...

 

I did this FOR him.

 

I'm a good wife like that...:)

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The Crazy Chicken Lady Goes On A Cruise - Part Two

 

 

CRAZY CHICKEN LADY GOES ON A CRUISE

 

PART TWO

 

 

 

 

Well here we are in Progreso, Mexico!

 

Progreso

Yucatn

Progreso is a port city in the Mexican state of Yucatán, located on the Gulf of Mexico in the north-west of the state some 30 minutes north of state capital Mérida by highway. As of the Mexican census of 2010, Progreso had an official population of 37,369 inhabitants, the sixth largest community in the state in population.

 

 

 

It's only four of us on this trip.  We all went different ways today.

 

Some stayed on the ship and others just went to a beach.

 

But we decided to go to this place!

 

 

Mayan & Spanish Settlement Dzibilchaltun Ruins are located near the colonial city of Merida, Yucatan. Dzibilchaltun was a large settlement and still occupied when the Spanish arrived during the 1500s. Archaeologists estimate there were as many as 200,000 inhabitants and 8,400 buildings during its history with artifacts dating back to the middle of the classic period (700 – 800 A.D.)  Highlights are the large plaza, sacbe trails, the Temple of the Dolls, and the Open Chapel, an unusual amphitheater shaped structure (I could not for the life of me get this to center)    



But first we must get there!!!

 

We leave the ship and board a bus with our tour guide, Jose!

We were so excited and lucky because Jose said we were the

first bus to leave and we would be the first to get there

and it would not be so crowded.

yay!!!  We all cheered!!

But little did my bus mates know that they had let a

little lady on the bus named Lisa.

And very soon our bus started spitting and sputtering...

and before you could say "the Lisa factor"

we were sitting on the side of the road watching

allllll  of the other tour buses passing us by.

Why did I sit so close to the engine?

Jose then jumps off of the bus and hails another bus and away he went!

Wha???

What do we do now?

It wasn't long however before Jose was back and they tinkered

with the bus and we were back on the road.

Hooray!!

What I really loved about Progreso was it was not some tourist attraction.

Jose kept telling us it was the "real" Mexico.

We just saw real towns, and houses and people going about

their work.

 I thought it was great!  Although I never saw a chicken?

We finally made it to the Mayan ruins and I will tell you

it was hot, people!!

And we went in February!!

I don't think you could stand to listen (although it was interesting but a little too long) to the history of this place during
the hotter months.

 

 

 

 

It was really neat and I'm glad we went but the best part

was this natural grotto or cenote is what they called it.

Cenote Xlakah is a beautiful freshwater pool located to the side of the main plaza. It was the city’s freshwater source and perhaps the main reason the Maya chose this location to build their settlement. Water from Cenote Xlakah would have been perfect for residential drinking water and irrigation of their fields. Under the surface, Cenote Xlakah reaches depths of 44 meters (144 feet). According to the plaque near the water’s edge, Xlakah means “old town” in Maya. The cenote was first explored from 1957-59 when thousands of pottery shards and urns were found in the water along with wood, stone and bone artifacts. The earthenware dates to the Late Classic Periods of 600-1000 A.D -

We loved it and the little fish would give you a pedicure.

We walked back to the entrance of the ruins and they have this outdoor eating area.

I don't know if we were just hungry but it was the best, authentic

Mexican food that we had the entire trip!!

After we ate Jose loaded us all up and took us to a beach!

 

It was pretty touristy...is that a word?

 

I mean that there were a lot of people there and so many

 

trying to sell you something.

 

 

What???  Did you say homemade marange bites?

 

How fast can we get our money out?

 

And then we spotted it!!

 

We spotted on the beach, a tent set up with 4 massage tables

 

calling our names.

 

We couldn't get there fast enough.

 

In my frenzy to get on a table I completely forgot that I was

 

not wearing a bathing suit under my clothes like my friends were.

 

(If any men read my blog this would be a good place to stop reading....too much female information coming up.)

 

Not only was I lying beside the girl in the pink.....scroll back up

 

one photo.....yep....her.....

 

I had on capris and a regular top.

 

I just assumed the massage girl would just do the best she could

 

outside of my clothes.....but ohhhhhh I was wrong.

 

These girls are good and quick and you can tell they've done this

 

hundreds if not thousands of times.

 

I'm lying with my face mushed down on the (face holder??)

 

looking at the sand and she starts pulling my shirt up and I'm

 

thinking well I guess that's okay.

 

And then she moves my arm and lifts my head and pop!! my shirt is off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

I am horrified!! 

 

And then I realize that not only am I lying there in my bra

 

but I am lying there with 2 bras on!!!!!!!

 

The horror!!!!

 

(sometimes I wear two for extra support....I know that's just weird but it really works....don't judge!!  if you don't have the "big" girl problem then you have no idea the things you will do for support!)

 

I can't lift up from the table because then I will be totally exposed to everyone outside the tent...the tent is not closed!!

 

I am dying!!  Trisha (the beauty in pink) is dying also...

 

because she has heard me panic and say I have two bras on and

 

she can see what is happening from her table and she was

 

laughing so hard!

 

And then I could feel the massage girl....unhook, unhook, unhook,

unhook, unhook, unhook,

 

Oh dear....

 

and she was speaking  to the other massage girls    

 

"mahkd,m dllsejm., shelsk, lkdi , 2bras, hhahahaha"

 

I die...

 

"The Lisa Factor" strikes again...

 

So much for "relaxing" during my massage.

 

We finally get done and the massage girl is like

 

hook, hook, hook,  sigh.....hook, hook, hook

 

back on the clothes go.

 

And back to the ship we go!! (look, Trisha is still laughing)

 

Other than the massage debacle I really loved this day!!

 

We now are back on the ship and the ship starts heading home and we are getting

 

more delirious by the minute.

 

I love this photo...:)

(don't worry they will charge it to your visa)

 

 

Isn't that a beautiful group?!!

Each night we would come up the stairs and everyone that was a

little early would have to stand around in the elevator lobby area

and wait on the dining room to open their doors.

We met a lot of very nice people as we all stood around and talked.

One night we are talking to a group and for some reason I don't

do well with crowds, and talking, and I think I get nervous

and just say anything....my words are like vomit....I just

throw them at you.  Do you hear a warning coming up?

This man was saying something about his wife getting ready

and he was talking about how nice everyone looked and

before you could say "The Lisa Factor" I am blurting out

"these are pajama pants......and I think I've worn them the whole trip."

Of course no one knew what to say....they just stared.

Why did I say that???? 

They were black capris, yes they were black capri pajama

pants but no one knew that.....................until I told them..

sigh......

I think we were all ready to head home to some normal sized servings... although this chicken bite and potato bite were good.

I had to go straight to the pizza bar right after dinner...and maybe the ice cream bar.


It was time to head home....

we've had a great time!

 

 

The wind made for a rough ride home.

 

One night we were already in bed when we heard a commotion

 

out in the hall. 

 

We went out and people were talking about

 

the ice cream machine had fallen over because of the rough seas.

 

Boy I couldn't get my clothes on fast enough....I needed to

 

check on the ice cream machine!!

 

The last day we tried one last time to win this money....

 

we didn't win...but some lucky people did.

 

 

One last sunset....

 

 

one last look around the ship...

 

 

We are close enough to home that we have internet...

 

Here's a photo for my face book friends...

 

 

And just like that.....we are home....well, New Orleans.

 

 

What an excellent, marvelous, wonderful time we had

 

and I love each and every one of these special ladies

 

that made it so fun for me!!

 

A trip of a lifetime with life long friends and

 

memories we will never forget!!

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(thank you readers for hanging in there....I know this was a long post)

 

 

 

 

Change....

 

 

Change....

 

 

 

There's a lot going on in my life that I can't change

 

but myself is not one of them.

 

 

By the looks of the books that I'm going to be reading

 

I will be a

 

Tidy

Inspiring

Financially Secure

Determined

Disciplined

Prayerful

Christian

Homesteader!

 

Lol.....well........maybe....:)

 

I can try.

 

Oh and don't forget healthy and slimmer!!

 

 

 

I downloaded the Couch to 5K app on my phone and the My Fitness Pal.

 

I'm on my second week of the Couch to 5K and I'm doing pretty good.

 

I was walking/jogging this morning and I'm not a pretty sight.

 

It's a slooooooow process.  I almost laugh when I say "jog" because my shuffle is so slow.

 

I look up and I see this.

 

 

Do you see those two black specs in the sky?

 

Buzzards..........circling......yep.

 

I met a friend of mine for lunch one day out of town and she looked great and she

 

suggested the Quest bars and the protein powder.

 

After lunch I shopped and went to see my son and that evening

 

I went to the GNC store to get the protein powder and Quest bars.

 

But first I stopped at the Chick-Fil-A because we don't have one where we live

 

and I bought a bunch of chicken sandwiches for all the guys to have at work the next day.

 

And I bought me one for supper.

 

 

So I sat in the car and ate mine before I went into the GNC store.

 

I walked in and a helpful, friendly guy that worked there asked what I was looking for

 

and I could tell that he was so impressed that I had a photo on my phone of the exact

 

things that I needed.

 

He could tell I was serious.

 

He was a happy guy, just grinning the whole time.

 

It's nice to be around happy people.

 

I go back to the car and start to put my seatbelt on and there on my chest

 

is a big piece of chicken sandwich stuck on my shirt by a blob of ketchup.

 

REALLY????

 

 

I guess he didn't know that GNC = Girl Needs Chicken.

 

#proteinpowdermakesicecreamhavenocaloriesright?

 

 

Stay Tuned...

 

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Lisa's Medical Emergency

 

I decided to start a new series about the "only could happen to me" moments that I have.

 

It seems, as I talk to others, that "these moments" don't happen to most people.

 

Really?

 

I'm just lucky like that?...(sarcasm)

 

I can't decide what to call this series.

 

Here's what I've got.

 

                                                          1. " Only  me" moments 

 

                                                          2.  Lisa-isms

 

3. Was my face red when....

 

                                                          4. Why Lisa Why?

 

 

What do you like?

 

Anyway....

 

Here is a fine example of this series.

 

 

LISA'S MEDICAL EMERGENCY

 

 

One morning, years ago, my throat felt scratchy.

 

I hurried to the bathroom mirror and opened my mouth wide to peer at my tonsils.

 

A little backstory on my tonsils is that when I was a child

 

I had a history of strep throat, tonsillitis etc. and my mother

 

admits now that I should have had them (tonsils) removed.

 

Years of those episodes have left my tonsils enlarged and with holes or craters in them.

 

I did look into having them removed as an adult even though I really don't have

 

many problems anymore.

 

But,  apparently the surgery that's not that  bad for children is terrible on an adult.

 

That's all I needed to hear.

 

When I peered into the mirror at my tonsils I was shocked to see a big, white ulcer on my tonsil!!

 

I swallowed and yes it felt weird.

 

I did wait a few days (because I'm tough, broke, dumb) before

 

I made an appointment with my doctor.

 

I arrive at the doctor's office and as I nervously sat on the crinkly white paper

 

that covers the bed/chair/gurney? I am going over the story

 

that I will tell the doctor about my tonsil history.

 

And I'm wondering how painful it will be to treat the ulcer?

 

The doctor walks in and we exchange hellos and he asks what's the trouble

 

and I go into my explanation. (highly technical and precise)

 

I feel like he is impressed with how I seem to know what the problem is.

 

He says "let me take a look here...."

 

He looks, then takes his light and he looks some more....

 

he says "hmmmm" and then he

 

takes a probe? and he touched my tonsils with it

 

(while, I am ashamed to say, I am gagging like a two year old that's just been

 

given broccoli for the first time.)

 

Tears are streaming down my face from gagging so much

 

(when's the last time someone has touched your tonsils?)

 

and then he scraped my tonsils!!

 

I have (unintentionally) balled my fist up and am about to swing

 

when he finally sat back in his chair with a funny look on his face.

 

I ask "what is it Doctor.....is it an ulcer?"

 

Then he looked at me, I could tell he was trying to control his facial expression,

 

"Oh my, (I thought) is it worse, like throat cancer, is he trying to figure out how to break it to me?"

 

He said "No.......it ummm....it.....seems to be............

 

 

 

a piece of bread."

 

Oh..........................................my..............................................goodness!!!!

 

I die!!!!!!

 

A........piece......of......bread......people!!!

 

I am so embarrassed!!!

 

Apparently my love of bread combined with holes in my tonsils has put me in this embarrassing situation.

 

What do you even say to that???

 

The doctor is trying to sound professional but I could tell he was laughing to himself...

 

I know he wanted to say "yes, there was bread "sandwiched" in the hole in your tonsils.  You

 

can "roll" off the gurney now.  I hope you have a "rye" sense of humor."

 

He didn't.....but in my head....he did.

 

So I gather my belongings and I get out of there as fast as I can.

 

And then I get home and it took me quite some time and maybe some wine to finally admit

 

to Shannon that I didn't have an ulcer......

 

sigh.....

 

it was bread stuck in my tonsil.

 

To this day......he thinks this is hilarious.....

 

and loves to say things like

 

"Do you want a sandwich....or is it against doctor's orders?"

 

ha...............ha.........not.............funny.

 

So there you have it....

 

one of my moments....

 

have you ever had bread stuck on your tonsils????

 

I didn't think so........

 

 

 

 

The  End

 

 

 

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